Exchange student - one year ᵗᵃᵉᵏᵒᵒᵏ

33

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Taehyung stormed into the room, anger bubbling inside him like a volcano about to erupt. The door slammed loudly behind him, echoing throughout the house. His heart was racing, his thoughts were racing - all because of that despicable rumor that had been spread about him at college.
Without hesitation, he disappeared behind the partition wall that separated the bed from the rest of the furniture. He propped himself up against the cool dresser, his fingers nervously running through his disheveled hair as he tried to calm his troubled emotions with deep breaths. His whole body was tense.
He needed to get some fresh air, but he knew that if he went out now and someone provoked
him or just looked at him askance, he would lose control. That's why he had decided to go home where he was alone since his host parents were at work and he had left Jungkook behind at college.
Whoever had spread that rumor about him would live to regret it.

Jungkook had also made his way home while his thoughts kept turning to Jimin and Taehyung. After what felt like an eternity, as he had to rely on the slow bus, he finally reached the house. When he saw the car in front of the door, relief flooded through him and he entered the house. He quietly crept up the stairs after searching the first floor and not finding the dark-haired man.
With trembling hands, the blond slowly opened the door to his room and closed it again quietly behind him. He dropped his bag next to the door while his eyes scanned the room. The bathroom door was open, so he took a quick look inside, but the older man wasn't there. His nervousness increased the further into the room he went. Finally, he spotted Taehyung leaning against the dresser behind the partition and hanging his head. His face was anything but the gentle features he usually had.

Jungkook's heart tightened painfully at the sight. The anger emanating from Taehyung was almost palpable, like a dark cloud filling the room. He knew that he had to be careful now so as not to provoke Taehyung even more. He watched his chest rise and fall
frantically as he desperately tried to get his breathing under control.
"Taehyung?" Jungkook whispered, his voice barely more than a soft breath in the tense silence. His eyes were narrowed with worry and he added in a shaky voice, "Is everything okay?"

Taehyung ran a jerky motion through his hair and sighed deeply. "Not now, Jungkook. Just go," he mumbled without looking at him. He didn't notice Jungkook take a few cautious steps closer. "You heard about the rumors and that's why you're so angry, right?" asked Jungkook cautiously. "We can just deny and refute the rumors," the blond tried to cheer up and comfort the older man somehow.
But his words seemed to have no effect, instead bouncing off Taehyung's angry façade. "I didn't say now!" Taehyung suddenly shouted. His voice echoed through the room, making Jungkook flinch in shock. He had never heard the older man raise his voice like that before and it even made him a little scared.

At that moment, he was so incredibly angry that he wanted to punch something to get rid of his rage. The blond swallowed hard, but dared to continue: "I'll talk to Jimin and find out what that was about. We'll get it sorted out."
Taehyung now raised his head and looked at the blond with sparkling eyes. "Jimin? It was him?" he asked to make sure. With his eyebrows drawn together, Jungkook nodded uncertainly and looked into the anger-distorted face of his exchange partner. "He didn't send the picture on purpose, I'm sure of it. He was probably just angry and drunk, sometimes he does stupid things," Jungkook explained, but with every word he spoke, he only seemed to make the situation worse.
"You should really leave now," Taehyung said calmly with suppressed anger in his voice. His hands clenched into fists tensely, as if he was going to break something at any moment. Jungkook swallowed hard and continued to look at him. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but he forced himself to hold them back. "No, I don't want to..." he whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm staying."

Taehyung clenched his fists tighter. Every single word Jungkook uttered made his anger rise further. With a quick, powerful step, he pushed Jungkook against the wall next to the dresser, which squeaked softly under the sudden pressure of the push-off, kicking up a puff of dust beneath it. His right fist hit the wall next to Jungkook's head with a dull thud.
Jungkook flinched at the loud noise. His eyes closed instinctively and his heart stopped for a moment. He waited for the pain, but nothing happened. Slowly, he opened his eyes again and looked into the dark-haired man's face. Taehyung's eyes were narrowed with anger, but there was also something else in them - something vulnerable. "I don't want to hurt you, Jungkook. So just go," the older man said a little more calmly now, but the tension was still in every word.

Jungkook couldn't deny that he felt a slight fear at that moment. He knew what Taehyung was capable of. He'd seen Taehyung beat up Renjun just for calling him gay, and the videos of what he'd done to Taemin hadn't escaped him either.
Jungkook swallowed hard, his throat was parched. He could feel his heart pounding uncontrollably in his chest, as if it wanted to burst out.

Despite Taehyung's insistent plea and the slight panic that threatened to overtake him, he couldn't just walk away. "I know you're angry, Taehyung," Jungkook said in a voice that was meant to sound calm, but was still laced with his nervousness. His hands clenched into fists and his fingernails dug into his palms.
"You don't know anything," the older man shouted, his voice echoing through the room. Once again, Taehyung slammed his right fist against the wall next to Jungkook's head. Jungkook held his breath as he felt the brute force emanating from his roommate. His own fear continued to grow and he dared not move or make another sound.

Taehyung stared at Jungkook. His eyes were a mixture of anger and despair. "You don't know shit," he repeated with a menacing calm that only emphasized the dangerous anger. "Then explain it to me until I understand," the slightly shorter man replied calmly, looking at him with shaky breaths.
The dark-haired man pushed himself away from the wall and looked at the blond. Then he laughed humorlessly, a sound that raised the hairs on the back of Jungkook's neck and sent an icy shiver down his spine. His eyes still sparkled with anger, but there was also something else in them: something vulnerable and sad. "Sometimes I wish I was still the same Taehyung from Korea," he replied, his voice sounding softer, almost melancholy, as if he was remembering a time when everything had been simpler.

Jungkook's eyes widened in confusion at the way Taehyung was suddenly behaving. It was true that Taehyung had changed since moving in with the Jeons. In contrast to the first few weeks, he had definitely become nicer. Jungkook couldn't deny that. And yet he was interested in what exactly Taehyung meant by that. "Isn't that you anymore?" Jungkook asked cautiously. His voice was barely more than a whisper.
Taehyung turned away from the blonde-haired man in frustration, running a shaky hand through his disheveled dark hair and letting out a deep sigh before answering. "No, it's like he died," he replied with a note of bitterness and sadness in his voice.
Jungkook, his eyebrows furrowed in curiosity and confusion at the same time, asked, "How would old Taehyung have reacted?" He scrutinized his counterpart with a questioning look, searching for answers.

Taehyung hesitated for a moment before answering in a calm but angry voice: "He would have broken Jimin's bones and sent him to hospital for that crap. And so would any other bastard who believed those rumors."
His fist clenched involuntarily as he thought of that rumor being spread about him. "He wouldn't have given a shit about how anyone else was doing and would have just done what he wanted. Maybe he would have even fucked his way through college," he continued as his eyes wandered off into the distance for a brief moment. "He probably would have beaten you up on your first day just because you like men. He would have left you on the street then, not interfered in your shitty relationship with that bastard or let you kiss him." His voice softened as he recalled the past events.

With a hint of despair and longing in his eyes, he added: "He just wouldn't have cared. Sometimes I wish that Taehyung was still around." His words hung heavy in the air as he realized how much he longed for the light-heartedness and strength of his former self.
An oppressive silence spread between the two as Taehyung was deep in thought and Jungkook desperately tried to process his roommate's sharp words. The air between them was thick enough to cut when Jungkook finally broke the silence by gently asking, "Is it really that bad... that you've changed?"
Jungkook was still leaning against the cold, rough wall he'd been pressed against earlier, looking at the older man's rear profile. He could see Taehyung's shoulders tense and his hands clenched into fists. "Of course it is!" Taehyung replied immediately, his voice quivering with anger and confusion. He turned back in Jungkook's direction. "It's not normal to feel sorry for a... Faggot and want to help him."

Now it was Jungkook who was starting to get angry. "Don't start with your homophobic talk again, it's really getting on my nerves! What do you know, huh?" the blond asked with a quivering voice. He hated it when Taehyung started it. He hated it every time and it hurt him deeply. "I and countless other people who like the same sex are normal people with feelings. Feelings that you simply trample on with your despicable behavior," Jungkook's voice grew louder, his eyes shining wetly. He moved away from the wall to get closer to the taller man, his hands clenched into fists.
"Do you realize how fucking hurtful you are with your condescending attitude?" he continued to shout, his voice quivering with anger and hurt at the same time. "Maybe those rumors will finally wash your head so you realize how shitty it feels to be judged for something because others tell you to - like your horrible family fed you all that garbage about us." His chest heaved up and down frantically as he tried to get his anger under control.

Taehyung stood there, overwhelmed by the emotional words Jungkook hurled at him. His chest felt heavy. For a moment, he was speechless, then he lowered his head and took a deep breath. "The rumor has absolutely nothing to do with what you are. You... Gays just aren't normal," the dark-haired man replied calmly. His voice sounded almost mechanical, like a broken record repeating the same song over and over again.
Jungkook's eyes widened in anger and disappointment. "What do you know about us?" he exclaimed, his voice laced with despair. "We're just as normal as straight people!" The mixture of anger, disappointment and vulnerability echoed in his voice as his eyes filled with tears and slowly ran down his cheeks, leaving shiny trails of emotion that he could no longer hold back. "Holding hands and cuddling feel exactly the same. The joy, the palpitations or the butterflies in your stomach - it all feels the same for you! The kissing is the same and even the fucking sex is the same, except the fucking hole is different!" the blond boy continued to shout. His voice almost broke, as if every word was draining all his strength.

Taehyung stood motionless, looking at him while his eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost. He didn't know what to say. His mind was racing, a chaos of confused feelings and uncertainty. "So don't judge me," Jungkook pleaded, his voice little more than a tear-filled whisper.
The dark-haired man opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. It pissed him off so much that this blond boy was upsetting his emotional world so incredibly, and it made him angry that he was so overwhelmed by his own feelings.

His heart felt heavy, as if it were made of lead, as he listened to the words that were literally thrown in his face. It was becoming increasingly clear that the mask he wore on the outside was slowly beginning to crumble, as if it was being shattered by the force of the emotions.
"How sweet," Taehyung began mockingly, trying to keep up his facade. He rolled his eyes and continued, "All this talk of 'holding hands and kissing feels exactly the same' is ridiculous. You can do what you want, but that doesn't make you normal. And the thought of you kissing or having sex is just disgusting. It's not the same, and it never will be." The older man's voice sounded harsh, almost dismissive, but something else flashed in his eyes, something that looked like insecurity.

Taehyung hated it, he hated this chaos inside of him and these words he was spitting out. Yet he didn't even think like that anymore. "If you really think that, why did you let me kiss you? Why did you return the kiss of a faggot?" the blond continued to ask angrily.

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