Becoming Whole Again

Chapter 7

(Sonny's POV)
I can't take much more of this. Carli has been in surgery for over 2 hours. She cut herself so deep they don't know if they can save her. They're trying the best they can. I've been sitting in the waiting room, crying the entire time. I called Olivia and the squad and they're all sitting here with me.
The entire room is silent. We are all looking at the floor. My tears are falling from my face and dropping onto the floor. My heart is racing.
"God, please save her." I thought to myself over and over.
A few minutes later, the doctor came out, covered in blood. Carli's blood. My heart dropped into my stomach.
"Family of Ms. Shelton?" he said quietly.
I stood up immediately. My hands were sweating and my legs were shaking.
"Yes? How is she?" my voice was shaking.
He sighed. Oh no. Oh god, no.
"Well...we managed to save her. It took us a while but we stitched up the laceration. But..." he said.
"But what?" I got scared even more.
"She's fallen into a coma. There's no way of telling when she will wake up." he said softly.
My head was spinning. She has to wake up. She has to!
"Can I see her?" I asked desperately.
"Yes, of course. She's in room 113. Right at the end of the hall." he replied.
"Thank you, doctor." I said.
"No problem. I'm really sorry.." he said as he patted my shoulder and walked away.
I looked at the rest of the squad. Olivia stood up and hugged me.
"It'll be okay. Go see her." she whispered in my ear.
"Thanks, Liv.." I said and slowly started walking down the hallway towards Carli's room.
I opened the door and a wave of shock came over me. She was laying there, limp and pale. Her arm was covered in bandages and she was connected to a ventilator. Her blonde hair was laying on her shoulder.
I was standing the doorway just staring at her. Tears rolling from my eyes. I slowly stepped further into the room and closed the door.
"Carli...." I said and I walked to her bedside.
I picked up her hand and held it in mine. It was cold and clammy. My heart ripped apart just sitting there seeing her like this. She's got to wake up...
"Carli...I don't know if you can hear me but...if you can, please listen to what I'm about to say. You have to wake up. You have to wake up, baby. For me. Honey, my life is empty without you. I miss your smile, your laugh. I need to see those beautiful blue eyes again. Please wake up, Carli." My tears were falling uncontrollably.
I sat there staring at her for what seemed like hours. Begging and pleading for her to wake up. I prayed over and over.
"God, please wake her up. I need her more than anything in the world." I repeated over and over.
Someone knocked on the door and opened it. It was Olivia.
"Hey, Sonny..." she whispered in a sympathetic voice.
I wiped my tears away and sighed. My heart was no longer inside my chest. It was ripped out and stomped on. Carli needs to wake up.
"Hi, Olivia..." I replied trying not to cry again.
"How is she?" she asked concerned.
"I'm not sure. I've been praying for her to wake up. You have no idea how much this hurts." I was staring Olivia in the eyes.
"I understand, Sonny. I understand what it feels like to lose someone you love...." she was looking at the ground.
"What? What do you mean?" I asked confused.
She sighed, made a small smile, and shook her head.
"Never mind...It's nothing..." she whispered.
(Olivia's POV)
I was thinking about Elliot. My old partner. Not only was he my partner but he was my best friend, and I love him. The long 12 years we spent together made me realize how much he meant to me. We grew closer and closer each and every day. I miss him, more than anything.
(Sonny's POV)
"Are you sure? It doesn't seem like nothing." I said.
"Trust me, Dominick. I'm okay." she said smiling.
"Okay...where are the others?" I asked.
"They had to leave. Barba had some things to tell them. But I stayed to make sure you were okay." she said confidently.
I smiled a little.
"Thanks, Serge." I said quietly.
"No problem, Sonny. Are you sure you're going to be okay on your own?" she asked.
"Yeah...yeah I'll be fine. I think I'm going to stay for a little while longer then go home." I replied.
"Okay. You have my number if you need anything." she said.
"Yeah, I know." I said and she quietly left the room.
I stared at Carli's beautiful face once more. Hoping she would wake up from her coma. Begging and pleading to God to wake her up.
I stood up and softly kisses her forehead. I didn't want to leave the room but I needed sleep. I've been through a lot the past few days and I need to rest.
"Goodbye, Carli. Please wake up, baby. Please, Carli. I need you in my life, sweetheart." I was so heartbroken.
I kissed her lips and a tear of mine fell onto her cheek. I wiped it away. I walked to the door and gave one last look at her before I left the room.
I left the hospital and started walking back to my apartment. The warm summer air felt colder than usual. I need Carli. I want to hold her in my arms and stare into her beautiful blue eyes.
The walk back to my apartment seemed longer than ever without Carli. I cried the entire way there. When I got to the apartment, I opened the door and slammed it shut once I was inside. I yelled and punched the wall.
"WHY?!" I was falling apart.
I went to the cabinet and got a bottle of vodka and popped it open. I started drinking it. I left the bottle on the coffee table in the living room while I went into my bedroom and took my clothes off. I came out into the living room with a blanket and I sat on the couch. I started chugging the bottle of vodka. I had drank half of the bottle before I started feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach. The alcohol was finally starting to sink in. My pain just wouldn't go away. I grabbed the bottle again and drank, and drank. I sat the bottle of the table. Three-fourths of the bottle was gone. I laid down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. I pulled the blanket over me. A tear rolled down my face as I started to fall asleep.
"Please wake her up, God." I said before I fell asleep.