Becoming Whole Again

Chapter 8

(Amanda's POV)
Sitting in that hospital today with Sonny and the squad was so depressing. Seeing Sonny in so much pain was tearing me apart. I wanted to hold him in my arms and kiss him. My feelings are getting stronger and stronger for him each and everyday. I can't help it! I love him...
I decided to call him and see how he was doing, as a friend of course even though I wish we could be more than that.
It rang 4 times before he picked up.
"Hello?" he said sounding as if he had just woken up.
"Hey, Sonny, it's Rollins..." I said awkwardly.
"Rollins? What do you want?" he said and he sounded drunk.
"I called to check on you to make sure you're okay. Are you alright? You sound intoxicated..." I said cooly.
He sighed.
"I'm fine, Amanda! Goodbye." he said and he broke into tears and then hung up.
As soon as the call ended, I fell into a puddle of tears. He's so depressed. I wish I could help him but he wants nothing to do with me. I need to get over him but I just can't. I need him. I want to hold him and guide him through his pain.
I had been sitting there thinking about him and crying for over 15 minutes. I need to pull myself together. I need to get over the fact I'm never going to have him but....I just can't.
(Sonny's POV)
Amanda woke me up. I was glad she did because I was having a nightmare. Carli was kidnapped and they were torturing her.
I drank the rest of what was in the bottle of vodka. I sat on the edge of the couch with my head in my hands. Carli was the only thing on my mind. She needs to wake up...
I heard a knock on my door so I ran into my room and got dressed as fast as possible. I ran back to the door and opened it. It was Olivia.
"Sonny." she said.
"Sergeant?" I was confused.
"Amanda called me. She said you were drunk." she was concerned.
"No. I'm fine..." my speech was slurred.
"Dominick. I can smell the alcohol on you." she was giving me an evil stare.
I laughed a little.
"I don't know what you're talking about..." I tried to sound cool but failed.
I got dizzy and I fell over.
"Sonny!" Olivia screamed a little and helped me to my feet.
She carried me to the couch and sat me down. She looked on the coffee table and saw the vodka bottle.
"Did you drink that entire bottle?!" she was shocked yet surprised.
"Maybe..." I said about to cry.
"Carisi..." she whispered.
"The pain just wouldn't go away. My heart is shattered. She might never wake up. I might never be able to hold her in my arms again! I might never get the chance to marry her or have children! So I drank to take the pain away but it wasn't helping...." I said and I broke into tears.
Olivia hugged me. She's never hugged me like this before. It was a comforting hug. She was trying to calm me down and let me know that she understood.
"Sonny, it's going to be okay. I promise you that. Carli will wake up. She's strong, she a fighter. She's not going to give up. Love never gives up. If the love is truly strong enough, it will work through anything. Carli loves you, Dominick. She really does. And I believe she's not going to give up because she loves you and wants to be with you. Trust me." she spoke in the sweetest voice possible.
Olivia is such a great person and I love her for it. Not only is she my sergeant but she's like my best friend. I may have lied to her but she still has my back no matter what. That's what the Manhattan SVU is all about.
"Thank you, Olivia. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that meant to me. You made things a million times better. I do truly believe she will wake up now. I just...don't know when. I've been praying and praying for her to wake up soon." I said with tears streaming down my face.
I wiped them away and sighed. Olivia smiled at me.
"What are you doing?" I was confused.
"You're a brave man, Sonny. One of the bravest men I've ever met. You never let anything get you down. Even when you hit rock bottom, you're still determined to get back up and keep fighting. That's why you're one of my best detectives." she smiled again.
"Olivia...I don't even know what to say..." I said looking into her big brown eyes.
"You don't have to say anything." she said and giggled a little.
It was silent for a little while then she spoke again.
"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up." she said and stood up and helped me to my feet.
"Okay..." I said quietly.
"You go get a shower and I'll do something to help flush the alcohol out of your system." she said.
"But I don't want it out of my system..." I said in all seriousness.
"Dominick Carisi. Now go get in the shower." she said in a strict tone.
"But-" she cut me off.
"That's an order, detective." she gave me a glare and I didn't dare disobey her.
"Okay...okay. Fine." I said as I walked down to the bathroom and shut the door.
I took off my clothes and turned on the water. I made it moderately hot. I slowly stepped inside and started to clean the alcohol smell off of me.
(Olivia's POV)
As Sonny was in the shower, I decided to help get the alcohol out of his system. I've done this plenty of times before for my mother before she died. She was a heavy drinker. My father hurt her so badly...
I went into the kitchen and found some Advil for Sonny to take because he was bound to have a headache or something soon. I got a glass of water and I grabbed the Advil and put it on the coffee table. I then decided to make food for Sonny. Drinking heavily without food can be a bad thing.
I made Sonny a grilled cheese sandwich hoping it would soak up some of the alcohol in his system. I put it on the coffee table also. Then my phone rang. It was Fin calling me and he said they needed me at the precinct.
I found a piece of paper and a pen and I wrote Sonny a note and had told him where I had gone. I left the note next to his food on the coffee table and I left.
(Sonny's POV)
Once I was finished showering, I went into my bedroom and put on clean clothes. I put on my NYPD t-shirt and a pair of black sport shorts. I combed my hair and then I went back out into the living room.
"Olivia?" I called out but there was no response.
I then saw the food, the Advil, and the glass of water along with the note on the coffee table. I picked up the note and read it.
"Sonny,
I had to go to the precinct. I made this food for you to help get the alcohol out of your system. There's also an Advil in case you get a headache.
Call me if you need me.
~Olivia"
Olivia was such a great women.
I then noticed that I did have a bit of a headache so I took the Advil. Then I sat down and turned the TV on. I thought that maybe it would help me get my mind off of Carli for a little bit but...I couldn't stop thinking about her.
I put on South Park and started eating my food. Not too long after, I started feeling better. Less intoxicated. Olivia was right, it did help.
I wanted to call Olivia and thank her but I knew that she was busy right now. So I decided to lay down and go back to sleep.
I covered myself up with the blanket and it was no longer than 10 minutes and I was fast asleep.