The Ones That Descend Into Misery

To Be Said for Feeling Numb

"There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it."

~Douglas Coupland

Evie used to say that time passed too quickly. She'd always tell him that she willed the hours and days to slow so she could take more time to appreciate every little thing with him. Spencer had always answered with saying how as each human's life progresses, a segment of time begins to be less of a fraction of your life with older age, making time seem as if it flew by faster as life went on. He missed how she would smile and roll her eyes, laughing at how technical he always was. They were so different in that respect. She was wildly imaginative and colorful, seeing the world in so many views while Spencer had always paid attention to every little fact and black and white point that he could possibly remember. It had worked for them, though. They learned from each other and completed a whole in such a way that it was amazing to Reid that he ever lived without her balance.

Now that she was gone however, time moved in a painful lethargic manner in each passing moment. Every second droned on with the knowing that she wasn't there. The four days that he had spent at JJ's house were filled with Spencer lying in bed numbly for the most part. The drapes in her spare room pulled shut and all the lights diminished so not to allow even a gleam of light entrance. Maybe it made things worse, but Spence hardly noticed. He'd eventually be visited by JJ who would just sit on the side of his bed and rub his shoulder or bring him something to eat that he'd just hide after she left. He felt bad for being such a handful for his friend to take on. It wasn't her fault that he couldn't eat or wouldn't talk or rarely sleep. With this in mind, Spencer was able to occasionally find the strength to help her clean around the house or come eat dinner with her, Henry, and Will. On the second day however, JJ was being driven crazy with how worried she was.

"Alright, come on." she had said when entering his room that afternoon. Spencer's eyes flickered up to meet her giant blue ones, but other than that he didn't move. She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest as if she was waiting for him to do something. Reid eventually frowned up at her with confusion. 

"We're going to get out of here for a bit." 

Spencer took a deep breath and diverted his gaze from hers, making her exhale sharply. 

"Spence, I'm not letting you be cooped up in her anymore. Come on." 

At that JJ had grabbed his hand and yanked him upright, making Spencer cringe from the ache that spread through his head. He knew it was from lying down for too long, but JJ didn't give him much time to consider the pain before pulling him to his feet. 

"Where are we going?" he had barely managed to get out. JJ gently led him to the threshold of her spare room and into the natural light of the hallway. Spencer squinted against the light, tugging back a little in protest. 

"Wherever you want to."

With that, Spencer turned and began to go back for the spare room, but JJ rolled her eyes and yanked him back. 

"Anywhere but there." she added. Spencer sighed with disappointment. She took him through the house which seemed to be apparently empty. Reid glanced at the clock to see that Henry wasn't home from school yet. In a way he was happy and disappointed. Disappointed because he obviously loved the kid, but happy because he hated when he saw him like this.  

Within ten minutes, they had arrived at the only place Spencer could really imagine going. His first thought was the bookstore they had always gone to after the first time he took her there, but he wasn't sure if he could quite handle that yet. Choosing something a little less memory ridden instead, JJ pulled into the parking lot of the small park where Spencer and Evie had often gone to on nice days. The same place where the reoccurring memory within dreams kept coming back to him. For two hours he sat with JJ where Evie and him once sat. It was cold and Spencer kept telling JJ she could go back to the car or her house if she wanted out of the chill, but she insisted on sitting with him for which he was grateful. For the next two days after that, they had come around the same time, right after JJ came home and right before Henry and Will returned.