The Ones That Descend Into Misery

Happiness

"Happiness, it's like the old man told me

Look for it and you'll never find it all

But let it go, live your life and leave it

Then one day you'll wake up and she'll be home"

~The Fray

Evie stared back at Spencer with guilty eyes. She bit her lip nervously and rocked back and forth on her toes, cringing when it seemed she realized her ankle still hurt. 

"Yeah..." she whispered hesitantly. Spence couldn't form coherent words or even thoughts in his mind. He just wasn't believing it. He wanted to, he just couldn't bring himself to process that his dead girl friend was standing right in front of him. The tightening in his stomach clenched to a strange anxious feeling that spread throughout him. He didn't know whether it was because he was just taken so off guard or because he was nervous about this not being real, but he could even feel himself shaking. 

He wished he could move. He wished he could speak. He wish he could do something, anything but just stand there. 

Luckily Evie was the first to move forward. Evie... he kept saying in his head. Evie, Evie, Evie... He never thought he'd be able to think that same word while looking at her ever again. Was this even happening?

"Spence?" she asked worriedly, a look of concern on her face. Spencer watched as she reached him, looking like she was hesitant to get too close. Her eyes never left his own as she reached up with her unharmed arm and gently touched her finger tips to the side of his face. Reid let his eyes travel all over the features of her face as she gently pressed her hand to the side of his head. He couldn't stop staring, just trying so hard to comprehend how this was possible. His eyes eventually wondered back up to her own, seeing how concerned they looked as she watched him and ran her thumb gently along his cheekbone. 

All at once almost as if Spencer wasn't controlling his own body, he rushed forward and pressed himself against Evie's body, being careful for her injured arm. His arms wrapped themselves around her noticeably thinner waist, but he assumed he felt even bonier than usual as well. The familiar warmth that radiated off of her body made Spencer shudder with a sense of pure relief and recognition that he never thought he'd feel again. 

The way she ever so delicately laid her arm across his back and laced her fingers through his hair brought back a sense of nostalgia that clenched his heart into knots. He could hear her soft breaths in his ear and feel the brush of his hair across his face as his face. It couldn't be real, it just couldn't. 

"Baby, you're scaring me a bit." Evie said, with a slight joking tone to her voice but predominantly concerned. He realized he had just frozen again in her arms. 

"I'm- I-" he tried to say... something. He didn't really know what he was trying to stay. He could only take a shuddering breath and lift Evie into his arms, hearing the same squealing sound she always made when he swept her off her feet. It was a little more difficult since he had lost so much weight and was constantly dizzy from hunger and nausea lately, but she had lost weight too. He was still able to hold her high above the ground while she wrapped her legs around his waist to keep himself supported. Spencer felt Evie's arms wrap around his neck and her face bury itself in the crook of his neck. Reid closed his eyes and and took a deep breath, exhaling a slow and relieved breath into the fabric of her shirt. 

Finally he was flooded with that rush of happiness that he had forgotten he was able to feel. A giant weight was lifted from his shoulders and his heart clenched with a different kind of feeling; not the one that sent knives through his conscience and made him feel like he was going to vomit, but the kind that sent waves of contentment, relief and love for Evie swelling in his chest all at once.