|| Hitherto || [completed]

24.I Don't

~
Dedicated to - Paraeeks, a very nice human, writer and friend. He is probably one of the best horror writers out there. His book 'No Children ALLOWED' is a must read :)

Song of the Chapter - Boom Clap by Charli xcx
~

Sapphire Brooks

October has begun, today is Sunday and it's freezing. It's been two whole weeks since the first time I saw him, a week since the fight and a day of contemplating whether I should go and talk to him or not. Maybe he does not deserve a chance of meeting me but I do. I deserve a chance at closure and being happy.

I think I will listen to Diana; I will go to meet him. Today.

*****

It's terrifying how much dominance Keith still has over my heart. Whether it is hatred or affection, my feelings belong to him. I don't.

I park my car in front of the café. I pull out the keys and see Diana and Matt coming out. Diana's eyes wander around and shift from Matt to other people and back to him. She is being self-conscious again.
Her eyes land on me and she waves awkwardly, biting her lip. I wave back. She whispers something to Matt and both of them have a silent communication. I stay put in my car. I roll down the window as Diana and Matt walk in my direction, hand in hand.

"Are you here to talk to him?" Diana asks.

"Yep." I answer without any trace of emotion on my face.

She nods solemnly. "Good. Do you want us to wait? We can wait until you finish talking," Diana offers and my immediate thought is to refuse.

"No, I want to do this alone. You guys go. Matt?"

"Yeah?" he responds but I detect a slight panic in his voice. Funny.

"Drop her home safe. Okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he mock salutes and gives me a cheeky grin.

"Don't try anything funny," I narrow my eyes at him and Diana titters.

"That depends on what or who stops me..." he smirks and I flip him off. Diana does not blush.

"How come you are not blushing?" I ask, my eyebrows shoot up in astonishment. She rolls her eyes and a faint blush sweeps across her face.

"Hah! That's what I thought," I chuckle. After bidding goodbyes and bickering a little more with Matt, they take my leave. I get out of my car and open the door to enter Magic Dust Café.

Keith is standing at the cash counter, lost in counting the money. MDC never felt so scary before. A part of me wants to step in and face him. Another dominant part of me wants to turn around and run away until I find it difficult to breathe and my lungs suffer. But he is there, in front of me with all the glory of his messy dirty blonde hair, grey-blue eyes and a stone heart. 

While watching him I realise maybe this is how it feels to finally face your past. To keep your heart out and to let your past decide the amount at which it would be auctioned to before its destruction. The part of your life that is long gone. 

The minute you spend now becomes the minute you 'spent' after its complete and the next sixty seconds begin. But, somehow, the past finds its place in the present and your future, in your mind.

Your past can stay alive in you, but you cannot go back and live in your past. 

Even if you want to, desperately.

With that thought, I walk over to him. 

"Keith," I whisper. 

~*~

_________EndOfChapter24.IDon't________

Thank You so much for reading! :)
Please do VOTE & COMMENT,