The Ru Effect

Chapter nineteen

I walked back to my apartment, my chest heavy with frustration and disappointment. Rachel’s words echoed in my head, her accusations, her warnings—everything she said about River. She made it sound like I didn’t belong in his life, like I was some sort of invader. But I wasn’t going to let her push me out. Not after everything.

As I opened the door to my apartment, laughter greeted me. Tejiri, Alex, and Jamie were sprawled out on the couch, eyes glued to the TV as some mindless reality show played. They were completely wrapped up in their world, laughing without a care. The sight of them sitting there, completely unaware of what River was going through, made something inside me snap.

How could they just… laugh? How could they go on like this while their friend was out there, suffering alone?

Tejiri noticed me first. “Hey, sis,” she said with a smile. “You’re back early.”

I couldn’t hold back anymore. “Did you know?” I asked, my voice sharp, cutting through the casual atmosphere. All their smiles faded as they turned to look at me, confused. “Did any of you know about River’s twin brother?”

Tejiri blinked, surprised. “Twin brother?”

Alex frowned. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“Derrick,” I said, my tone harsh. “River had a twin brother. He’s dead, and none of you knew? You’ve been friends with him for three years, and you didn’t know?”

They all stared at me, wide-eyed, clearly taken aback. Jamie sat up straight, her usual confidence faltering. “I didn’t know he had a brother, let alone that he… passed away.”

I could feel my anger bubbling over. “Exactly! You didn’t know anything about him. You’ve been his friends for years, but you don’t know a damn thing about what he’s been through. Meanwhile, I’ve only been here for four months, and I already know more than you ever cared to find out.”

The room went silent, their shock settling in, but I didn’t care. I was furious—furious that they could be so oblivious, that they could laugh and joke around while River carried the weight of his grief alone.

Without another word, I turned on my heel and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me.

I didn’t know where I was going. My feet just moved, one step after the other, while my mind spun with everything I’d just learned about River. The cold night air stung my cheeks, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest. I couldn’t go back to the apartment, not yet. And going to River’s place again wasn’t an option either.

As I walked aimlessly along the busy sidewalk, a familiar voice called my name.

“Kobi?”

I looked up and, of course, it was Ethan. He was stepping out of the cafe I frequented all the time. The one where I could escape my thoughts for a while. Great, now I had to face him.

“Kobi” he said again, smiling, his face lighting up. “What are you doing out here this late?”

I tried to force a smile, but it felt weak. “Just… needed to think.”

“On this busy street?” he teased, raising an eyebrow.

That made me laugh a little, despite myself. “I guess not the best place, huh?”

He grinned and nodded toward the sidewalk ahead. “Mind if I walk with you?”

I didn’t have the energy to say no, and honestly, I didn’t want to be alone. “Sure.”

As we walked, the conversation started light, but soon Ethan’s tone shifted. His usual playfulness fell away as he told me how much he’d wanted to pursue soccer after I asked him what he had always wanted to do before this whole business major.

I could hear the sadness in his voice, see it in his eyes as he talked about his knee injury, the surgeries, and how his dreams had been crushed.

“I had a contract lined up,” he said, his voice quiet. “Senior year of high school. It was everything I’d worked for. But after the fall, it was over.”

"That must have been bad" I say.

He nods in agreement " it was, after my surgery I was so damn stubborn, I wanted to go back and secure my contract so badly, so I ignored my doctors and lied to my parents that I was fine" he breathes in as if trying to steady his thoughts.

"I went back to play but messed up my knee joint again from all the pushing, falling....you know"

I nod in understanding as we both by passed a couple who were kissing.
"I couldn't walk, I did my surgery again but that was it, I couldn't play again, I got really messed up after that, I had to undergo therapy for six months before I was finally able to let go of the what if's "

He wasn’t just telling me facts—he was showing me his pain, his vulnerability. The grief of losing a part of yourself. hearing it from him now, it felt so raw, so honest.

And here I was, planning to reject him. Guilt gnawed at me, twisting in my stomach. How could I turn him down after he’d opened up like this?

Before I could stop myself, I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him. At first, it was just meant to comfort him, a friendly hug. But then his arms tightened around me, pulling me closer, holding me in a way that felt more than just friendly. It was gentle but… intense. This is wrong.

I pulled back, stepping out of his embrace, my mind spinning. I had to tell him now. I couldn’t keep leading him on like this.

But as I opened my mouth to explain, Ethan cut me off.

"Ethan, I—”

“Don’t say it,” he said softly, his eyes searching mine.

“I know what you’re about to say,” he continued, his voice gentle but firm. “You’re going to reject me, aren’t you?”

I looked away, guilt weighing heavily in my chest. I couldn’t lie to him, but I didn’t know how to respond.

“But don’t,” he said, stepping closer again. “Just… let me show you what we could have. Let me be there for you,to take you out on dates, to show you that I'm not messing around with you"

My heart twisted at his words. I didn’t want to hurt him, because deep down, I knew he wasn’t the one I wanted. The one I wanted was someone who kept pushing me away.

But Ethan was here, offering something steady, something real. I didn’t know what to do. So I nodded. I agreed, even though my heart wasn’t fully in it. Even though I knew it wasn’t fair to either of us. Even though I knew that I felt nothing for him.

Because the truth was, that I had already given my heart to someone who doesn't want it.