The Ru Effect

chapter thirty one

After days of avoiding River, I find myself standing in front of the lecture hall, my stomach twisted in knots.

It’s almost a week before my exam, and the pressure feels like an iron weight on my chest. The sounds of students filtering in around me amplify my anxiety, and I take a deep breath, reminding myself that I can’t let the fear of failing consume me.

It’s just a class. Just another chance to distract myself, even if only for a little while.

I step inside, scanning the room for a familiar face. The professor’s voice drones on, but my thoughts keep spiraling back to River and the way he looked after our last conversation—the tension that hung between us like a thick fog.

I push the thought aside, focusing on the lecture, but it’s a struggle. My mind feels cluttered, a jumbled mess of emotions I can’t seem to organize.

Once the class is over, I head to my favorite café, hoping the rich aroma of coffee and fresh pastries will help me unwind.

As I push open the door, the bell jingles above me—a small comfort in the bustling world outside. I scan the room and spot Samantha sitting at a corner table, her fingers tapping impatiently against her phone.

Taking a deep breath, I walk over and slide into the seat across from her. “Hey, Sam,” I say, trying to sound casual, but my voice comes out shaky.

Her expression is anything but welcoming. She narrows her eyes, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “What the hell, Kobi! I told you not to lead Ethan on!”

I wince at her words, the guilt sinking deeper. I had been avoiding the topic, hoping it would just fade away, but here it is, front and center.

I wanted to explain, to tell her that it wasn’t intentional, but the words get tangled in my throat. Instead, I manage a small, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

Her gaze softens slightly, but there’s still a fire in her eyes. “But who’s the other guy? You can’t just leave Ethan hanging like this. He really liked you.”

Ethan just had to tell her...

I glance down, feeling the weight of her scrutiny. “It doesn’t matter, really. The other guy doesn’t want anything more,” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady. It feels like admitting a failure, and I hate that I’m even in this position.

Samantha leans forward, her expression a mixture of concern and frustration. “Kobiruo, you deserve more than that. You deserve someone who will actually be there for you.”

I shrug, not wanting to dive deeper into my feelings. “Maybe, but right now, I just... I don’t want to talk about it.” I hope my tone conveys the finality I feel inside.

She lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through her hair, her tension easing just a bit. “Okay, fine. But I’m worried about you. You need to be careful with your heart.”

I nod, appreciating her concern, even if it feels like too much. “What about Ethan? How is he handling things?” I ask, redirecting the conversation, grateful for the distraction.

Samantha’s expression lightens as she takes a sip of her drink, a small smile breaking through. “Honestly? I think he’ll be okay. He’s a good guy. He’ll move on eventually.”

Relief washes over me at her words. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted Ethan to be okay until now. “That’s good to hear,” I reply softly, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders.

Knowing that Ethan will move on brings a sense of peace, a reassurance that I didn’t completely break him. He's a great guy and he deserves a better girl.

As we chat about classes and upcoming plans, I find myself laughing at her ridiculous stories. The café buzzes around us—clinking cups, low murmurs, and the rich scent of coffee—and it creates a warm cocoon, momentarily shielding me from my worries.

When I get home, the apartment is eerily quiet. The faint sounds of chatter and laughter drift from Tejiri’s room, probably with Alex and her.

I slip into my room, the door clicking shut behind me as I let out a heavy sigh. I drop my bag onto the floor and sink into my bed, the cool sheets providing momentary comfort against the storm of emotions swirling in my mind.

I close my eyes, trying to push away thoughts of River, of the way he looked at me when I confessed. The memories of our argument replay like a broken record, and I feel the familiar pang of regret twist in my gut.

A soft knock on my door breaks through my thoughts, and before I can respond, Tejiri steps in, concern etched on her face.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asks, her voice laced with worry. “I heard you shut your door.”

I sit up, forcing a smile that feels more like a grimace. “I’m fine,” I lie, but I can see the disbelief in her eyes.

“Come on, Kobi. You've been off since the party,” she presses, crossing her arms as she leans against the doorframe.

“It’s just... everything,” I admit, the weight of my feelings crashing down on me. I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. “It’s River. We had this argument, and he basically rejected me without even saying it outright.”

Tejiri’s expression shifts from concern to understanding as she walks towards my bed. “What happened?” she prompts gently.

I feel the tears welling up again, and I can’t help it. “I thought maybe... maybe he felt something, but I guess I was wrong. He didn’t want to talk about it, and now I just feel stupid, rejected...” My voice trails off, the emotion overwhelming me.

As I speak, the tears spill over, and Tejiri moves to sit beside me on the bed. She pats my back awkwardly, a gesture that is both comforting and slightly funny given her usual confidence. “Hey, it’s okay to cry and you definitely aren't stupid” she reassures me. “You’re not alone in this.”

“I know,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. “It’s just hard to accept that he was starting to matter to me, and now... God, I really liked him.”

Tejiri nods, her eyes softening. “I get it. River is your first love, right?”

I let out a nervous laugh, but it feels awkward and hollow. “I’m not in love with him,” I say quickly, but Tejiri rolls her eyes.

“Whatever you say,” she replies, a teasing lilt to her voice. “But I’m telling you, I’ve been there. I felt like if I didn’t have the guy I was going to die. It’s dramatic, I know.”

Her exaggeration makes me chuckle, and for a moment, the heaviness in my chest lightens.

“Hey, that’s just me embracing my feelings!” she laughs, and it’s infectious. “But really, River isn’t the end for you, Kobi. There’s so much more out there. You’ll find it. And yeah, I agree he's hot as hell, but he is too complex for you. He has a lot of stuff to deal with, and I don't think there's a place for you there.”

Her words resonate with me, filling the empty spaces in my heart with a flicker of hope. I’m grateful for her unwavering support.

“Thanks, Tejiri,” I say sincerely, pulling her into a tight hug. “I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime,” she replies, her voice muffled against my shoulder. “You’ll get through this. You’re stronger than you think.”

As we pull apart, I can feel the warmth of her reassurance lingering, a reminder that even in the midst of heartache, I’m not alone.