The Ru Effect

chapter twenty one

River's pov

I stepped out of my room, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. The echoes of Kobiruo’s footsteps still lingered in my mind, a bittersweet reminder of her presence.

She had left—probably because Rachel had said something mean again. I hated that Rachel had this power over me, but more so, I hated that it affected Ru.

I didn’t want her to see me like this, to know the truth about how ugly I was on the inside. I didn’t want to scare her away with my mental health issues, my darkness.

To my surprise, as I made my way to the kitchen, I found Rachel in the middle of preparing dinner.

I had assumed she would have left after saying something to anger Ru, but here she was, busy chopping vegetables with a focused intensity.

I took a seat on one of the high stools at the kitchen island, my fingers instinctively tracing the horizontal scars on my wrist, remnants of my own struggle. The physical marks felt like a secret I carried, a part of me I wanted to hide from everyone—especially from Ru.

Rachel glanced up from her work, her expression unreadable. “What are you doing entertaining yourself with a girl like Kobiruo?” she asked, her tone sharper than the knife she wielded.

I bristled at her words, my defensiveness kicking in. “Can you stop attacking Ru unnecessarily?” I shot back, the irritation in my voice palpable. "It's becoming quite childish and that is unlike you"

It felt like she was just waiting for a chance to pounce, to criticize the one person who was starting to mean something to me.
Someone who is willing to wait for me and not make everything about them all the time

Rachel sighed, her shoulders sagging as she turned to face me fully. “I’m only looking out for you, River,” she replied, her tone softening. But I could see the tension etched on her face, the way her brow furrowed slightly as if she were struggling to keep her emotions in check. I could sense something deeper, an undercurrent that made me uneasy.

I leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest, needing to put some distance between us. “Do you have feelings for me?” The question slipped out before I could stop it, the bluntness of it hanging in the air like a heavy fog.

Her eyes widened, surprise mixing with indignation. “Of course not!” she exclaimed, her voice a little too sharp, a little too defensive. It struck me as more of a reflex than a genuine denial.

“Rachel,” I said, my voice steady but laced with a growing frustration, “let me make this clear, I cannot and will not be my dead brother’s replacement in anyone’s life."she gasps at my bluntness but I continue.

Something in the back of my mind told me Rachel needed to know this, needed to know that I will not be her lifeline.

I already have so much to deal with on my own.

"I don’t like you that way.” The words felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders, but I knew they would hurt her. “You need to cancel any form of romantic interest you have towards me.”

Hurt flickered across her face, like a candle in the wind, but she quickly masked it with a veil of defiance.

“I’m sorry, River. Sometimes I can’t help but get carried away.” Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, revealing a vulnerability that I've gotten so use to“I just long for a connection with someone.”

I shake my head, the frustration boiling over. “It’s definitely not me.” I take a deep breath, trying to keep my own emotions in check.

“You need to go live the life you always wanted. Stop trying to protect me.” The words felt bitter on my tongue, but they were true. “I don’t need anyone.”