Losing It All Is Easier Than Getting It Back

Chapter 5

PICTURE OF GWEN -------->

“What’s wrong?” he asked before I could shove away my feelings about being accepted.

I looked away and didn’t answer. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me and then apologize.

“You can’t hide from me.” he said, a hint of humor in his voice.

“I’m just hungry.” I replied half-heartedly.

He nodded, unconvinced. “I’m sorry. I forgot. I’m not used to being around humans. I should’ve known considering how much time has passed since you last ate.”

“Wait, I’ve only been here a few hours right?” I asked in fearful confusion. I didn’t like the idea of not even knowing how long I had been there.

He shook his head guiltily. “After I… bit you… you were out for about three days. You were so weak I was afraid I’d killed you.” he didn’t look at me as he disappeared out of the bed room.

I sighed in frustration. Why did he always apologize for everything? I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if he told me that he apologized to himself for even breathing. I felt a twinge of the anger from earlier but I pushed it away as he returned holding a plate in one hand and a glass of water in the other. “Here you go.”

He place the plated of spaghetti in front of me. I couldn’t help but smile lightly. I loved Italian food. “Thank you.”

He nodded smiling a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

I quickly finished it and he sat the plate aside and lay back on the bed, closing his eyes. I let my gaze travel across his face, taking in every angle and shadow.

When I had been back home I had drawn a lot. Not anything like he was able to do but I preferred more sketching with pencils rather than pain. I looked away and put the memories out of my mind and reverted to staring at the black and silver patterned comforter that decorated the darkly painted crimson room that was evened out by the black ceiling.

“What are you thinking about?”

I sighed. “More unhappy memories.”

His lips tightened to form a straight line. He opened one eye and looked over at me. “What are some of the good memories of your family?”

I swallowed and remained focused on the comforter. “Well, my brother, Quinton, and I almost set the entire place on fire when we blew up a bottle in his bedroom one time when I was around fourteen. And then there was the time when he convinced me to eat the goldfish, claiming it would be fine.” I smiled at the bittersweet memory of Quinton. “We used to have so much fun. We were pretty much like twins except closer and the fact that he’s a year older than me.”

He smiled. “Him and Xavier would have gotten along fret. Xavier’s very devious most of the time and loves to play the most horrible pranks on people and get into things he shouldn’t. But he’s a real softy when it comes right down to it.”

I gave a sad smile and nodded. “They would’ve gotten along. Quinton was never satisfied though. He always wanted more, wanted what he couldn’t have the most. Maybe that’s why Mom was the way she was.” I said the last part in a low whisper to myself.

I could feel his gaze on me. “Tell me about your mom. That is if you don’t mind.” he added quickly.

“Well, she was the most amazing person I know. She could take a depressed person and make them happy but she always wished she could satisfy Quinton, she wanted both of us to be happy. One day we all got into a huge fight, I taking Quinton’s side immediately. I was fifteen and he wanted to escape, I wanted to go with him. She found us leaving and blamed herself. Finally we gave up and went back to our rooms, just to end the chaos. The next morning we found her dead in the bathroom. Drug overdose. She left a note apologizing for everything. That was only a week before I met Harold.”