Deep {COMPLETED}

t w e n t y - t h r e e

Riley Green

Just like that we were fine again, things would never be simple between us, and I was beginning to accept that. One day we would scream at each other and the next we would f*ck and be fine again.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed watching him fix his collar and button the sleeves on his jacket. I lingered for a moment, taking him in, he knew I was watching and tried to pretend like he didn't. Then I stood up and slipped my dress back over my head and smoothed down my hair. He looked at me. 

"You're beautiful." He said, and then he walked out the door, leaving me standing in the mirror. I looked at myself. Maybe, just maybe, I could be someone he loved, and I could love him back. I was beginning to see myself for the first time as someone capable of loving and capable of being loved in the right way. I smirked at myself in the mirror and left the room, following after him. 

Soon enough the ceremony started, we were sitting towards the front, next to his mother and other distant relatives. The music started playing and everyone turned around to look at Emma, she was undeniably beautiful. As she walked down the aisle I just kept thinking how terrifying it must be, to have everyone staring at you as you make a life-changing decision. She looked calm and ready, she looked in love.

When Emma and her fiancé said, "I do," Ian's hand squeezed my hand and I began to panic. I was barely beginning to come around to the idea of being committed to someone and having feelings for them and I was scared that due to my vulnerability he would begin to expect something. 

At the reception, all the little kids and parents were dancing in the grass, I sat at the table watching them, smiling. They looked happy, I'd never been to a wedding before, but everyone was happy here. Ian was off helping his mom with something, and I was content watching while others enjoyed themselves. Emma grabbed my by the arm and dragged me out, insisting that I dance with her. I reluctantly followed, not wanting to be rude,  but I really didn't want to dance. She was jumping around and twirling in her dress, and I was laughing and trying to follow her, eventually she leaned in and yelled over the music, 

"How did you and Ian meet?" I began blushing immediately, I couldn't tell Ian's cousin that we met in sex therapy, I mean I could but what kind of impression would that make. 

"School, we went to the same high school, and then just kind of ran into each other." I shrugged and tried to act casual about it. Just then Ian came up and touched my shoulders. 

"What are you two talking about?" He asked. Emma smiled.

"Riley was just telling me how you two met." Ian's face froze and began turning red instantly. It was fair to assume his parents didn't know that he was addicted to sex. He stared blankly at Emma with his mouth hanging open, at a loss for words.

"Yeah, I was telling her how we met in high school." A wave of relief flooded through him as he relaxed.

"Oh, right." He said, and then he turned to me, and looked down at me with his deep eyes, for a moment I forgot about everyone else there. "Riley, can I have this dance?" I hadn't even noticed the change in the pace of music. It was a slow song. I hesitated. "What's wrong?" He said. I leaned in,

"I can't dance." He laughed. He actually laughed out loud and had to bend over to hold his stomach.

"You're kidding, I've seen you dance a thousand times Riley Green, quite trying to lie it's not going to work." He said, grabbing my hand again. I blushed.

"Yeah, you've seen me dance in clubs, when I danced like a stripper. I don't think that would go over well here. I can't dance to slow songs." Suddenly he actually looked concerned, but he just leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Just follow my lead." I nodded as he placed my hands on his shoulders and his hands on my waist. So far it wasn't too unfamiliar. I began swaying my hips and he grabbed them. "Slow down." He said. I smirked and moved my body closer to his.

"You sure?" I asked. He pursed his lips and tilted his head back. 

"I'm sure." He said firmly. He moved us in sync, slowly, our feet stepping back and forth. I kept looking down and he kept laughing at me. I began to get used to it, and it was like we were moving in slow motion, he leaned down and had this gleam in his eye, this little spark of wonder. "Ready?" He said and them he lifted my hand and I twirled under his arm, my dress floating out around me, I couldn't help but smile as he pulled me back to him and placed his hands back on my waist. He grinned like a kid and all I could picture was that first night when he showed up at my door in a  hoodie and glasses and messy hair, he'd gotten a hair cut since then and kept it neater. The only thing I was thinking about was the first time I'd noticed his eyes on me, his big brown eyes. He thought I didn't know him, but I'd always known him, he'd always been there. In high school, I knew him, the first time in therapy, I knew him. He'd always been there time and time again, and time and time again I'd messed with him and hurt him and gone out of my way to make him miserable. But now I felt nothing but happiness for him, nothing but kindness. The bitterness to our relationship was almost gone. I'd come such a long way since the first time I broke his heart, he'd come such a long way. I still didn't know where we were but it wasn't where we were two months ago. Things were different now, different in a good way. 

The song ended and he wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in his scent. He used to smell of cigarettes and mint and now he smelled like cologne and fresh air. There was a change in him, a good one. 

He led me back to the table and then excused himself to go talk to him mom. I watched him from afar, admiring him. Emma came up next to me, as I continued to stare at him. She was calm, waited a moment before speaking. 

"He loves you." She said. I chuckled and replied,

"I know." I've always known, he's always made it known. The difference is, it used to scare me.

"Do you love him?" She asked me. I never looked away from him as I answered.

"I don't know who I love." 

-

This is pretty short it's just been SOOOO long since I've written so it had to be done. I've been gaining reads which makes me so excited for the rest of the story!

In all honesty it will probably be coming to an end shortly, but don't worry, there is more to come! 

Thanks always for all your support, remember to vote, all the love in the world x

-S