Switching Worlds - Loki x Reader

Chapter twenty four

Everything twisted and shifted into a kaleidoscope of light as the Bifrost carried us back to Earth. We landed in the open field near the Avengers' compound. I stumbled slightly, still a bit dizzy from the journey. Loki caught my arm-more out of reflex than concern, I guessed-and released me just as quickly. His gaze swept over the area, his usual mask of indifference firmly in place.

The compound loomed ahead, and as we neared, a knot tightened in my stomach. Something felt off. The air was thick, charged with tension, and it hit me the moment we entered the common area.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice cutting through the tense silence. Nobody spoke for a few seconds. They exchanged uneasy glances, the kind that spoke volumes without a word. Sam finally stepped forward, his usually easygoing demeanor replaced by a heavy seriousness.

"Barnes, he's..." Sam paused, his lips pressing into a tight line as if searching for a way to soften the blow. "Gone."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean gone?" I said, my voice sharper than I intended.

Sam raised his hands quickly, palms out. "Not gone gone-he's not dead," he rushed to clarify, but his explanation didn't ease me at all.

Natasha stepped in, cutting him off. "He and Steve went to Wakanda," she said evenly. Her tone was calm, almost too quiet, but I caught the flicker of unease in her eyes.

I furrowed my eyebrows, the pieces falling into place in my mind. Wakanda. Steve. The truth about Tony's parents. "Did Steve...?" I trailed off, not needing to finish the question.

The team's silence was answer enough. Averting their eyes, they nodded almost in unison.

Tony knew everything now.

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I just wanted to hide. I wasn't sure if I felt guilty, but there was this nagging thought in the back of my mind telling me that 'maybe I should have told him.'

It made me wonder if this would worsen the already shaky dynamic I had with Tony. And the overthinking didn't stop there-what if the team trusted me a little less now? What if this was the beginning of them pulling away?

I stayed in my room for the next few hours, thinking those thoughts over and over until they became unbearable. It wasn't until dinner that I finally worked up the courage to approach Tony.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, keeping my tone as neutral as possible, though my stomach churned.

Tony didn't answer right away. He sighed, setting down the gadget he'd been tinkering with, and turned to face me.

"No, I'm not angry with you," he said, sounding more tired than anything else. He rubbed his beard slowly, almost absently, before letting his hand drop to his side. "To be fair, you and I don't exactly have the best relationship, so... I understand why you didn't tell me."

"It wasn't my place," I said finally, though even to me, it sounded like an excuse. "I thought-I thought Steve should be the one to tell you."

Tony let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. "Of course," he muttered under his breath. He glanced at me, his expression unreadable.

I opened my mouth to respond, to say something, but no words came. "Look, I-" I started, but he cut me off.

"I'm not blaming you," he said, his voice calm but with an edge of tension. "I get it. Really. But..." He paused, almost annoyed, then continued. "It feels like you're picking sides. Even if you didn't mean to."

I froze, unsure how to respond. He shook his head as if to brush the thought aside. I was actually surprised at how well he was handling it, but then again, he had a few days to absorb the news.

Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I haven't exactly been the... easiest person to deal with." He glanced at me, and for a moment, I could see the sincerity in his eyes. He exhaled sharply, his usual bravado softening just a little. "I'm not expecting us to suddenly be, you know, friends or whatever, but we need to start somewhere. And I think that starts with us being honest and... trying to get along."

His words hung in the air for a moment, and I could tell he was still processing everything, still trying to figure out how to make things right. The tension in the room wasn't gone, but it felt... softer somehow.

"I can do that," I said quietly. "I'll try, too."

Tony nodded, his expression settling into something more soft. "Good. That's all I can ask for."

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I leaned back against the shelves of the library, the weight of the day pressing down on me. Despite the so-called "amends," an ache lingered-guilt? Sadness? I wasn't sure. Was I picking sides? I wanted to protect Bucky, that much was true, but maybe I hadn't thought about Tony's feelings. It kept slipping my mind that, here, his loss wasn't just a tragic story; it was real.

I sighed, staring blankly at the book in my lap, its words a blur. When I finally looked up, Loki was standing there, watching me. "Hi," I said softly, startled. "I didn't hear you come in."

Loki didn't reply right away. He hummed, his sharp green eyes scanning me. Tilting his head slightly, he asked, "Are you okay?" His voice was quieter than I expected, almost gentle.

The sudden kindness caught me off guard, and to my embarrassment, I felt my eyes sting with unshed tears. Pathetic. Taking a shaky breath, I forced a smile. "I'm fine. Just... overwhelmed."

Loki studied me for a moment before sitting beside me. "You know," he said after a pause, "you don't owe Stark anything."

I shook my head and let out a bitter laugh, rolling my eyes. He didn't understand-or maybe he did, and he just didn't care.

"It's not about that," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I just don't want them to think they can't trust me. I-"

Loki rolled his eyes, his expression laced with exasperation, though there was a flicker of something else in his gaze-something like understanding he didn't want to acknowledge. "Are you really worried about their approval?" he asked, his tone sharp, almost mocking, but with an edge of something softer beneath it.

My jaw tightened, his disdain cutting deeper than I cared to admit. "It's not approval I'm after," I snapped. "I don't want them to think I'd turn on them-or worse, to doubt me."

He tilted his head, his sharp green eyes scrutinizing me. "Why do you care so much what they think?" he asked, his tone calmer now but no less pointed. "If they fail to see your loyalty, isn't that their problem?"

His indifference grated on me, the words stoking the embers of my frustration. My mind raced, ready to lash out, to say something that would sting-like, What would you know about loyalty, anyway?

But before I could, Loki stepped forward, his finger pressing lightly against my lips. His gaze was firm, the sharpness in his eyes quieting my anger.

"Don't say something you'll regret," he murmured, his voice low and firm.

I froze, stunned into silence as he pulled back, his expression unreadable. Without another word, he turned and strode away, I let out a shaky breath, my chest tight with emotions I couldn't name. Why did I keep messing everything up? Why couldn't I stop feeling like I was failing everyone around me?

I heard his footsteps falter for a moment as if he hesitated... then they resumed, fading as he left. And for the first time in a long while, I felt utterly alone.