Roads That Cross...

...Not Knowing What To Do

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Things were fine, but they also weren't.

That night, after their hug, Simón had insisted they finished the garlands as they had set themselves to do. Ámbar truthfully couldn't have cared less about the garlands or her original plan of getting them done— Simón had forgiven her. Nothing else mattered to her. All she wanted was to be close to him, hug him more, kiss him, reaffirm herself that they were alright— She had been so scared...

But she didn't want to be too imposing after they'd just reconciled, so she followed his lead, and agreed to work on the decorations.

Then they had dinner with everyone, and, sure, Simón was a little less talkative than usual—especially when he got asked about his 'headache' and Ámbar could feel his discomfort radiating from him— but they'd gone through an emotional moment just an hour ago. It was normal if things were still a little tense.

Then they climbed up to her room, with Simón carrying the cardboard box after having offered, and after he placed it on her coffee table, Ámbar held his hand and asked if he would stay the night with her. Simón hesitated, just a little bit, but then he smiled and squeezed her hand and said, 'of course', and Ámbar felt so relieved that she kissed him. She kissed him gently at first, just a tiny thing, but then she sought his lips again and tried to linger, tried to deepen the contact, and that was when Simón pulled away.

"Do you want to use the bathroom first or should I?"

It wasn't an out-of-the-ordinary question, so Ámbar answered ordinarily as well. "Uh, no, I gotta take off my makeup and do all my skincare, so it's going to take eons— You go first."

And he said 'okay' and went to the bathroom, and it was normal, seemed just like routine, but Ámbar felt it... off.

Later, as they were lying under the covers to sleep, she soaked in the normalcy of it and convinced herself everything would be fine. They had just fixed things between them, so it was normal if it felt a little weird. They were still snuggled up together in spite of that, with Ámbar's face on his chest and Simón's arms around her, and it felt so nice after spending a whole night alone, in this bed that felt too empty without him.

She breathed in Simón's scent and fell asleep, thinking everything would be better the next day.

It wasn't. Not really.

Nor was the day after that.

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There was an air of hesitation that lingered around Simón and every move he made now. It wasn't constant— it appeared every now and then, subtle, but Ámbar noticed, and it kept her from relaxing fully into their normal routine.

It also didn't go unnoticed that they weren't having sex. Which was fine— they didn't need to do that every day. But they used to. So it was... different.

She couldn't say it was all Simón because she hadn't tried to initiate it either. But the mood just never felt right, and that was exactly the problem.

Getting there used to be easy, and now it was not.

And that, she felt, applied to everything.

It wasn't like Simón was distant. He didn't avoid contact with her or acted cold— Nothing like that. She also didn't think he was... punishing her or something because of what happened. Whatever was up with him didn't seem to be on purpose— In fact, it seemed like he wanted it gone just as much as she did. But it kept coming back.