Forgive me [Erisol] (Slow Updates)

My mistake

My first Erisol fanfic ever!! Sorry if it sucks, it is my first. Don't like don't read. X3
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Eridan's Pov

It feels like a life time ago when the game happened. I lost my moirail. My friends. My lusus. Everything. I did things I wish I hadn't. Killed Fef, destroyed the matriorb, tried to kill Kan, and blinded Sol. I will never forgive myself for the things I did. So how could I expect others to do the same? I think the only ones who don't hate me are Nepeta and the humans. Then again...I don't really know.
So here I am. Being yelled and beaten up by Karkat for looking at John the 'wrong way.'
"DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT MY MATESPRIT AGAIN YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" He punched me one more time for good measure, then dragged John away.
Another thing. I'm the only one who's truly alone. Gamzee has Tavros, Kanaya has Rose, Karkat John, Nepeta Equius, Terezi Vriska, Dave Jade, Feferi Aradia, and Sollux...Acually...Sollux doesn't have a matesprit, but he has a moirail and is friends with everyone.
It doesn't bother me anymore that I have no one. To be honest I don't think It ever did. I was always alone. Even when I had Fef as a moirial, In fact I think I was even more alone then. She didn't care about me. I could've culled myself and she would just turn the other way, faster than you can say, 'Glub'.
I never understood why but...I never really had a will to live after I was 4 sweeps. Or to humans 8 years old. I don't know why...I just gave up...And ended up covering up my self-inflicted wounds with pants, a long sleeved shirt and a scarf. Feferi knew that. I think she thought I was crazy. Maybe I was. Maybe I am.
I didn't asked to be hatched. I didn't ask for this. Yet, I was hatched. For what reason? I don't know anymore. I don't think I ever did.
I looked down at my hands. Nails chewed down, skin a pale grey. And one ring on my pinkie. I had tossed all of my other rings away. The ring was a small silver one with a yellow and purple tinted jewl. I smiled at it. The only reason I kept it was because it reminded me of Sollux. How bittersweet.
I'm flushed for him. I think I always have been. I'd do anything for him, but I bet he won't even spit in my direction. The thought made me chuckle a bit, and I hardly noticed the violet tinted tears running down my face. He was still flushed for Fef. Still horns over heels for her. Even after she started her matespritship with Aradia, he still followed her around like a love sick puppy. Maybe he thought they'd break it off, and she'd realize she was still red for him.
Kinda like me in a way. I chuckled softly but there was no humor in it. I could hear my tears drip into the water below me.
"Hey ED."