Forgive me [Erisol] (Slow Updates)

His Thoughts

Sollux's Pov.

'When did it start?' I wondered, yellow tinted tears, sticky and drying on my pale, grey skin. 'Why did Eridan never say anything? Did everyone hate him that much?' The more questions I asked, the more I realized I didn't have answers. I knew people didn't like him much because his mistakes from the game...But that was sweeps ago! Hell we were all just 6 sweeps! Everyone made mistakes, everyone. Gamzee fucking murdered Nepeta and Equius, Vriska killed Tavros, Terezi killed John in another timeline and Vriska, Kanaya killed ED. Yet they were forgiven. I know Gamzee was sober or some shit like that, but literally everyone forgave him. So why not Eridan?!
I let the thoughts or Eridan consume me. He was always putting up with everyone's bullshit. Never failing to scoff and smirk at a hurtful remark directed towards him. Yet, now that I think about it...His scoffs got weaker, smirks became less fierce...The cocky look in his eyes faded. My bi-colored eyes widened.
Is that why he basically gave up during the game? Did he really feel that broken? Why was I so blind to see this...? I must be pretty fucking dense. Then again. I might've just played it off.
Everyone knew he was depressed. Everyone. But it was a joke to us. I guess we thought he was doing it for attention? He was considered the attention whore of the group... But thinking about it now...I realize how wrong we were. He wasn't really one for begging for attention.
Even during the beginning game he did nothing to deserve the terms whore, or attention whore. He only ever confessed his red feelings for Jade, and FF...
I guess he was hated for the way he acted? But KK acted like a crabby, douche all the time and everyone put up what him...Hell everyone had their quirks in the way they acted.
Vriska was a bitch, Gamzee was too high in skia to give a shit, Tavros was too girly and nice, Kanaya was overly honest, FF was too bubbly, AA was either too depressing or to blunt, Equius was too violent and protective, Terezi...well she was Terezi, Nepeta was always squealing, and I...well I was a fucking pissed off douche.
Everyone had something that pissed another off. So what was it about Eridan's personality that set everyone off? Was it the fact he was always talking about the destruction of land dwellers? He didn't mean it, his lusus raised him like that. Was it because he was overly confident? I admit it was a little annoying, but not enough to hate him.
I signed and ran a hand half way through my hair and tugging it harshly. "Damn iit ED. Why diidn't you thtiick(stick) up for yourthelf..." 'He probably did. But maybe that wasn't enough...Is that why he got so far in his depression? Was that the reason he started hurting himself? Did he not think I cared?! Did he not think...Did he really not think I was...
"ED....You iidoiit. II don't diie me..." I started to sob again. I pulled at my hair harder. "ED. Pleathe...Don't Leave me. II don't want to be alone agaiin. II Never even told you how II felt. II never told you II Wath-"

"HEY SOLLUX! KANAYA TOLD ME TO COME GET YOU! SHE SAID IT WAS FUCKING IMPORTANT!"

'Please be okay ED...' That was my last thought before I took off towards Kanaya's hive.