Chapter Fifteen

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~Carmen's POV~

I open my bleary eyes and look around me. I'm in a recovery room with two nurses, one in floral scrubs, the other in plain blue.

"Good morning." I say to get there attention.

"Hello, Carmen. How are you feeling?" Asks the nurse in floral scrubs.

"I'm okay, I could be better but I'm okay." I say hesitantly, I really wish Spencer were here. He's been avoiding the hospital - and me - since our argument. I can't believe how fast he just lost it, like he didn't even process what was going on. One moment he's happy to see me and just wants to squeeze the life out of me, the next he's madder than I've ever seen him.

"On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?" The nurse with the blue scrubs asks and all I can think of is if she's talking about emotional pain or physical pain.

"I guess somewhere between a 3-4." I finally reply and they wheel me back to my hospital room where Garcia and JJ wait, dumping something into my I.V. drip.

"Carmen!" Garcia says when she sees me. She jumps up and ambushes me with a bear hug. I laugh and hug her back.

"Hey guys! Thanks for waiting." I say. The nurses leave and JJ comes to sit on my bed. "So... How are you?" I ask JJ and she smiles at me.

"I'm fine. How are you?" She asks with a knowing look in her eye.

"Well, I just went through brain surgery, but I'm not in much pain..." I trail off.

"You know that's not what I mean. How are things with Spence?" I pause and really think about it.

"You know, I'm not really sure. Morgan spilled the beans about me leaving the BAU, and he just lost it. One minute he was happy to see me and the next minute he was throwing a fit and being dragged out of the I.C.U." I sigh. "He's not usually so undecided about his feelings."

"He's under a lot of stress." JJ replies and I nod. "Spencer has some problems with his dad leaving and his mom being in a mental hospital, so I think he's just nervous that you're going to leave him." She says, taking my hand. I guess I can understand that, but why does JJ know this and I don't? I'm married to him for Pete's sake.

Suddenly it dawns on me: how much do Spencer and I really know about each other?

"Guys... How bad did I screw up?" I ask, burying my face in my hands.

"What do you mean?" Garcia asks. "Not telling him until you were ready is understandable and totally acceptable. If he doesn't understand that then he's got another thing coming to him."

"Not that..." I say after a moment. "I got married. On a whim." I sigh. "I'm so stupid for rushing things."

"Carmen!" JJ says, wrapping me in a hug. "Spence proposed, not you."

"I know... but now we're fighting and I feel like we know nothing about each other, let alone how to live with each other." I say and she frowns.

"Will and I knew almost nothing about each other... And we already had Henry." She says, looking me in the eye. "My point is that no relationship is perfect. So it's okay if you and Spence are going through a rough time. Everything seems to be going wrong, that's okay. Work through it with Spencer and it will be okay."

"Thanks JJ, you always know just what to say to make me feel better." I say and hug her tighter. "Come on, Garcia, join in on the hug!" I shout and she comes around to the other side of my bed, wrapping her arms around the two of us.

~•~•~•~•~

I wake up to a migraine and clutch my head, curling into the fetal position. Holy. Crap. Tears sting my eyes and I blink quickly, willing myself not to cry. I push the NURSE CALL button and try to sit up in bed.

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