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6th March 2015

Dear Diary,

It was Harry and I's one month anniversary the other day and it was just perfect. We haven't been together for long and we're still young but, well, we had sex – we made love, as he said. He was so sweet and gentle... Oh I love him.

We had dinner together at his place, his parents were out of town for the night. He cooked! And the meal was good! I didn't know he could cook that well. But he can. I think I might love him even more now... I can't cook for shit. I'm trash. And he's perfect. And I couldn't stop telling him he was perfect and he told me "I love you but please shut the fuck up Louis". Yeah. He loves me. And I love him.

It was quite of a shock, because I really didn't think he loved me. I thought he liked me... But no. He loves me and I'm complete. I want to kiss him. I want to make love to him. He was on top and my butt was hurting for, like, two days. He was gentle at first but then he was a bit rough and I was fucking loud, I have to admit it.

But it was perfect. And I remember everything.

Every touch, every breath, every kiss, every word, every moan. I remember everything and is it a bad thing that I want to do it again? I hope not because I really want to do it again. Twice a day. That would be nice.

I sound like a perv.

I really don't know what to say. Not much has happened, my dad still thinks I'm dating Eleanor and Harry and I are still a secret. I know it's a bit tough for him sometimes – it is for me too – but I don't want him to get hurt. And even if that sounds selfish, I don't want myself to get hurt. I guess I can think about myself too sometimes. And I know he will be destroyed if anything ever happened to me. And if my father, or someone at school did something to him, I would feel guilty for the rest of my life. I don't ever want to be the reason of his pain. I don't ever want him to be in pain. I am in love with him and I would do anything to protect him from these homophobic assholes.

I should probably go now. I have to go to school in 5 minutes... I don't want to go, but I'll be with Harry, so I will go. And it's not like I could skip, I would get slapped if I did. Mum is really strict with school, she wants me to have good grades and a career in a few years. She only wants the best for me, I know it.

But my father only wants me to have good grades so he can brag about it at work. He doesn't care about me, he only cares about himself and his stupid reputation. If only everyone could see the real him... The scary guy who hates my guts and uses mum because she's the perfect housewife.

I have to go now. I can't miss school.

Keep my secrets safe.

Louis. x

[a/n; this story is coming to an end... only one chapter+epilogue left]

louis' diary // larry stylinson auWhere stories live. Discover now