Beg ✟ h.s. au (M)

t h i r t y - f i v e

"If you don't let your past die, your past won't let you live"

Hear You Me x Jimmy Eat World

Harry's pov

The slamming lockers echoed in what seemed to be a faded unison. The noise losing its perception as I stood there placing materials back and forth from my bag. My mind in a daze, so many things consuming it all at once and none the lesser.

Championships were next week, the team having worked so hard this past month. We were so close to winning state and honestly, it scared me to no end.

School was always a pain, with homework constantly piling, and busy work to annoy you to no end. Being it senior year, most had slowly began to care less, but I still of course needed to maintain my grades. Sports relied on it, and I would never hear the end of it had I come home with a C on my report card.

Church was slowly becoming less prioritized to me. Still going every Sunday, but feeling very patronized every time I glanced over at the confession booth. Poor father..

My brain feels as though its in a constant over drive. The stress of so many things all at once finally catching up to me, especially being it so close to the end of the year.

And then comes graduation, and then college. Even more stress.

Something that was on the verge of being the main source of my stress and being the main relief was Stella. I wanted so badly to make that commitment with her. To call her out for her feelings, to ask her to be mine for real. But my mind always told me otherwise. She would run away from me, she would feel suffocated because thats who Stella is. She doesn't feel like she's worthy of love, hell if she even believes in it.

It worries me to think that she doesn't see just how much she means to me, and I try to convey that with every touch - both sexual and non sexual -with every mindless conversation, and to every connection we shared. I tried my best to have them come through, only praying she'd realize the amount of love I had for her.

The crowds of people endless as they squeeze past my body in a blur. I felt my pocket vibrate as I stalled my "quick" locker exchange. I pull out my phone to see a text notification.

"New message from: Stella x" it reads. Speak of the devil.

I unlock my phone, opening the message. Reading it fully before replying.

Stella.x : where are you??'

Me: My locker. Why?

Stella.x : don't move. i'll be there.. have something to tell you.x

My eyebrows furrowed together as the thought of her needing to tell me something strange, but any reason to see her was a good one.

I continued to stand there, closing my locker as I simply leaned against the metal wall. My fingers scrolling through Stella and I's pictures. The times we'd have movie marathon nights, her eyes glued to the screen in the picture. Her hand stilled in the communal bowl of popcorn that always somehow ended up in her lap. I chuckle at the picture, a smile on my lips.