The New Student

I'm Sorry

Where was he? I ran back to the classroom and looked around, but it was empty. I ran over to the gym, but it was filled with freshmen. Checking the library, I only saw the librarian. Where was he?

I clicked on favorites and tapped Hansol's contact, calling him. 

"Yes?" he responded.

"Where are you?" I was panting and sweaty from running around the school. There were only fifteen minutes left for lunch.

"I'm in the cafeteria," he said quietly. "Where are you?"

I leaned against the wall and slid down to the ground. "At least I know where you are."

"Mari, where are you? Were you looking for me?"

 I hesitated before replying. "I'm sitting on the ground and yes, I was looking for you."

"But you haven't eaten?"

If I said that I didn't he would worry but if I said that I did, I would starve. "No," I told the truth. I always felt terrible whenever I lied. He ended the call and I sighed, curling into a ball. 

"Here Mari." I looked up to see...Johnny? "Just take the food," he said. I shook my head, refusing his offer. He sat down in front of me, holding some chicken nuggets from the cafeteria. "Then we can just share."

I looked at him, studying his features. He had certainly grown a lot since junior year. He seemed more masculine and handsome. He had not dated anyone since we broke up. "Eat," he said, handing me a nugget. Hesitantly, I took it and ate it. "You know Mari," he started. "During junior year, I honestly thought that I was going to die without you, but now I feel more confident being alone. Thank you for that." He handed me another nugget. "So maybe we can be friends now, if you're willing to do so."

I nodded, my mouth full with chicken. 

"Why are you alone?"

"Something came up so I had to miss lunch."

I finished my share of the food and stood up, throwing away our trash. "Thanks for the food Johnny."

"No problem, bye." He walked away leisurely into the athletic building. I smiled faintly. Never had I expected for us to eat lunch together again. Once in a while, it was nice.

Faintly humming to a song playing from my earbuds, I walked back to class and sat down in my desk. I scrolled back through all the pictures that we had taken together, reliving the moments. I still remembered the cool, relieving feel of the cold water he had splashed at me at the swimming pool and when I had been so scared in the haunted house that I had practically turned his arm blue from grabbing so tightly. 

We didn't talk to each other at all for the rest of school and when the bell signaling the end of class rang, I turned around to leave when I saw Hansol standing behind me, looking at me. A sudden feeling of deja vu hit me and I remembered the basketball game from last year. Then I remembered his black sweater. I put down my bags and pulled off the sweater, handing it to him. "Sorry that I haven't returned it in a long time. Here it is."

"I didn't want it back," he said quietly. I looked up into his wide eyes and flushed cheeks. There was suddenly a wave of emotions flipping through his eyes and I realized the pain he was in, the pain that I had caused him. 

"Hey, Hansol, it's okay." I put my hand on his shoulder, but he removed it with his hand and placed it on his cheek. I hugged him tight. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry that I was acting disrespectful in the morning, I'm so sorry that I lied about not pulling any all-nighters, I'm sorry about everything, so Hansol, don't ever be in pain because of me."