Just A Little Bit Broken

Chapter Eight

Kellins POV

PLAY THIS SONG WHILE READING

I hate myself for letting Vic back into my life. Literally what have I done. I don't know why I'm thinking anymore. I don't want to live anymore. This is way too much for me to handle and I can't do this I can't. I already know exactly what I have to do. And no I'm not going to fail this time because I'm not going to let anyone know where I'm going and I'm not going to let anyone save me.

Maybe I'm better off dead, if I was, would it finally be enough, to shut out all the voices in my head.

God I literally can't stand myself. I walked over to my desk and sat down. I grabbed a pen and a notepad and began to write. I started off with Vic .

Vic,
  Right now you're probably reading this and thinking that it's your fault for not stopping me. But I don't want you to think that way. It wasn't your fault. It was the world's.

I've tried so long to fix this and fit in. I've come to realize this world's full of sin. There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. It's a disgrace, I was misplaced. Born in the wrong time, and in the wrong place. It's okay though, cause you'll see me soon. When your time comes just look at the moon. As it shines bright, throughout the night, and remember everyone's facing their own fights, but I can't deal with this pain, I'm not a fighter. You'll get through the night, just hold your pillow a little tighter. So let the world know that I died in vain, because the world around me is the one to blame. And I know in a year you'll forget I'm gone, cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on. That's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school, so I'm just going by the majority rules. My presence on this earth isn't needed any longer, and if anything I hope this makes you stronger. You're the best friend, that I ever had. Such a shame I had to make you so very sad. Just remember you meant everything to me, and to my heart you held the key. Now it's time to go. I'm running out of space to write. And yes I lost my fight, but please hold on tight. I'm watching over you from the clouds up above, and sending down the purist of whitest dove, to watch over you and be my helpful eye. This is it world.

Goodbye.

By now I was broken down in tears and sobbing on my desk. I don't want to leave Vic but this is what has to happen. I have to do this. I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with my dad or people from school or people around me or the thoughts inside my head. I love Vic so much. He means the entire fucking world to me and it hurts to leave him. I don't even want to think of how badly this is going to impact him.

BZZZZ,,, BZZZZZ,,, BZZZZ

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and saw that it was Vic who was calling me.

I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kellin."

"Hey,"

"How are you?"

"I'm okay." I lied

"That's good."

"Mhm.." we sat there in silence and talked through sighs.

"Well I'm gonna go. I love you Vic."

"I-I love you too Kellin." And with that I hung up.

Oh Kellin why are you doing this to this poor boy.

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Yes hello I know short chapter. And by the way the suicide note Is actually a song by Courtney Parker it's called her last words so yeah that isn't mine. Always. Like I said this is a short book so there's only a few more chapters left. So yeah.