Lily Poppies. Gerard Way FanFiction.

Three Years Later

- three years later-

After three years of Polly's wedding, Gerard never came back. I contacted him for the first few months, I gave up when we never called me back. He would call me here and there, but it was rare.

Polly came back from her honeymoon after two months. But she went to go live with George. That meant I had a huge house to myself. Every time I sit alone in the living room, I could hear myself thinking and echoing sound waves bouncing off the walls. My dog died a year ago so now it's just me.

Polly's room was basically empty. There was just a pillow, fitted sheet, blanket, lipstick, and her bunny slippers. I let that room out for anyone who needs to stay here for a couple nights. Never London's room though. I never let anyone go in there. Her stuff still smelled like her. I never wanted to touch anything. It might get my smell on there.

Since I was twenty one, I could actually drink. That's all what's filled in my fridge. Beer. I got drunk almost every day. I started smoking too. I just thought about Gerard all day long. I missed him. I wonder if we're still dating.

I got a job as a wedding planner. I wanted other people to have days like that special. It reminds me of Polly's wedding. I want a wedding.

I dress differently now. I usually wear a long black pea coat with jeans and a t-shirt, converse then leave. I don't do scarfs or beanies. Just something casual. I walk down the street on my days off the admire the way the street lights are set up. I wish I had someone next to me admiring as well.

I went to go visit Polly at George's house. Turns out that they had a miscarriage. I felt real bad. Looks like I'm not going to be an aunt anymore.

They had dinner ready so I stayed. Sometimes at dinner I don't talk. I just listen to the conversation that Polly and George have. I get jealous when they make goo goo eyes at each other and kiss. So I leave early when that happens.

My life isn't exciting. I remember when that part of my life I had so much going on. Now, I could jump off a building just to do something.

I had work today with some clients I met. They were stuck up snobs. I still had to give them the wedding of their dreams so they can pay me. They wanted a wedding just like Polly's. White everywhere with white roses. I thought back to Polly's wedding. Where I was happy.

My life was back my high school days. Alone, quiet, and an outcast. My life sucks. Sometimes I think about jumping off a building. Fuck my life. I keep living cause I think that Gerard will come back. But he never did.

Never.

My snob clients told me to make the white roses out of cardboard. Why.? I went into my kitchen and got started. I messed up so much. I finally got one right. Until it broke. So I just went out and bought cardboard roses. Easy.

Turns out they know I bought them. So they got a refund and went to go find another wedding planner. My business was going downhill. Shit. I needed to stop getting drunk and being depressed. I decided to just pick lily poppies at the park.

I sometimes lay down and watch the clouds. I pick some lily poppies and take them home to put in a vase. I have a cache of them I keep in London's room. Turns out London did get a coffin and a hole to put it in. I'd visit her sometimes and tell her what's going on in my life. I leave lily poppies with her to know that I still remember her.

Polly doesn't even visit London anymore. She barely even talks about her. Wow.

Tonight, I decided to go the bar. I just wanted to get wasted. I got to the bar that Gerard took me on that date.

I just started jugging down a bottle of wine. Bands were playing and everyone was rocking out. I decided to stay at the bar. I was pretty drunk. I ran to the bathroom and started hurling the wine. I wiped my mouth and looked at myself in the mirror. Gross.

I went back to the bar and ordered another bottle of wine. Guys everywhere started hitting on me. Maybe if I drink some more, they'll go away. But I actually just got eve more drunk. It occurred to me that I should leave.

I walked down the streets to my house. I looked back on my life and realized what a piece of shit it was. I decided to just stop everything. And just end it so I can join London. Polly doesn't pay attention to me. Gerard is gone. I'm alone. Nothing else in life. I looked at a high building and decided to jump off it.

There were ladders on the edge of it. I climbed up each ladder and finally got to the top. I walked to the other side and looked down. I was about to puke again. I took out the lily poppy that was in my hair. I spreads arms and got ready to let go.

"Wait.!" I hear. I know that voice.