A book of poetry

Here. *

You always say, "Don't worry, I'm here for you."
Oh, how I wish that was true.

But you're not here for me at two in the morning,
When I'm crying my eyes out and slowly dying.

You're not here for me when those boys at school call me names and laugh.
You just leave, pretend you didn't see it, and say this time was the last.

You're not here for me when it's midnight and I'm sitting alone, slitting my wrists,
When death is my dearest wish.

You're not here for me when I'm trapped inside my mind,
You just sit there and pretend I'm fine.

You're not here for me when I know I can't go any more,
When for the last time, I lock that door.

You weren't here for me when I needed you more than anything.
And now I'm ending everything.

So just give me one good reason why,
One good reason I should continue to try.

You think you can't live without me.
Really, you can't live without the me you see.

That happy go lucky girl that's always in a good mood.
The girl that never turns down food.

If you knew who I really was, a broken and depressed freak,
Well, you would still probably call me weak.

Do you get it now?
As you kneel on the floor, asking, "How?"

How could I? How could I die?
Well, it depends on if you want the truth or the lie.

Truth is, I couldn't take it. I couldn't fake it, I couldn't make it.
Lie is, I'm just an attention whore who wanted to fit.

So, don't you tell me that you were there for me,
When you didn't even realize I was lying through my teeth.

Lying when I said I was fine, I was okay.
That's all I have to say.