A Typical day in Lameton School

Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

"Haligram, what are you doing?" Kaitlyn whispered as Haligram, Alles Claar, PreetyKiran and...the...source she did not wish to name forced them against the wall, their hands up in the air.

"Routine check-up," Haligram replied briskly, business-like, cold. "Claar, you check them for any bite-marks. Kopf, shoot anyone who Claar thinks is bitten while both I and PreetyKiran watch over them." Both of them nodded and Alles began, one by one, to check all the hostages, lifting their chin, making them pull their sleeves up and more.

"Isn't this almost sexual abuse?" Pun-Low muttered as Alles pulled his shirt up to check for bites.

"I really like the role Haligram is playing so far," Portugirl whispered to Kaitlyn who only felt rolling her eyes was the proper response.

"Who're you?" Ashnut jutted her chin towards the source Kaitlyn did not wish to name. He was of a fairly short height and he wore thick glasses and had an uncommonly large nose, but Kaitlyn didn't mind that. Haligram pointed her gun at Ashnut.

"Don't move unless I tell you to," she said. "I'm sorry but I'm only doing this because it's necessary procedures."

"Sexual abuse is necessary?" Baenab muttered but Haligram did not hear her.

"This strapping young man over here," Haligram continued – Kaitlyn felt irritated when she slapped his shoulder in a friendly way – "is Schuh Kopf."

Pun-Low spluttered. "Schuh Kopf?!" He began to roar with laughter.

Schuh Kopf frowned and pressed his gun against Pun-Low's back. "Not funny," he growled in an almost childish voice. "Tutti head."

"Alright, alright," Pun-Low mumbled. "Someone's got their panties in a bunch."

"Can I shoot him?" Schuh Kopf looked at Haligram pleadingly. "It won't even matter if he's bit or not."

"That's rude." Pun-Low pouted.

"His name isn't that bad," Kaitlyn said airily, not making eye-contact with anyone as she did so, but from she could already sense Ashnut's playful smirk but chose to ignore it completely. Kaitlyn knew Schuh Kopf was looking at her too, as though he was expecting her to directly talk to him.

"I've checked everyone thoroughly," Alles Claar said with a brisk nod. "No one here seems to be bitten."

"Are we all in the clear yet?" D-Tee asked. 

Haligram relaxed. "Alright, yeah, everyone, you're all in the clear."

"Good." 

"What was up with all of this...this checking for bites?" D-Tee questioned Haligram. They all noticed that Haligram, Alles Claar, PreetyKiran and Schuh Kopf were heavily equipped and were carrying bags that looked full to the brim with belongings inside them.

"Bites mean you're infected," Haligram explained. "I mean...do I really have to explain this stuff to you guys? You've all watched zombie movies, right? You get bitten, you're infected, you die and turn into a zombie?"

"This play is turning a bit too...cliché for my taste," Portugirl said with a disappointed sigh. Haligram stared at her with a frown.

"What?"

"Never mind her," Kaitlyn responded hurriedly. "Now tell us...where did you get these...these guns? And what are in those bags? And...and how did all of this...crazy shit happen?"

Haligram nodded towards Schuh Kopf. "Got the guns from Kopf over here," she replied. "Turns out, he has guns and loads of ammo carefully stashed away in his locker. I have no idea how he's gotten away with it for this long but we're lucky he did. You see, Kopf's been expecting something like this to happen since he found out Harward the Holy and Randal Gill were conducting some sort of crazy science experiment. When it did happen, he took his equipment out and shared it around with the only survivors he could find – Me, Alles Claar and PreetyKiran. We were looking all over for any survivors – you specifically, of course – and when we heard voices here we just barged in. As you know by now, we had to do the bite check thing to remove any unnecessary future risks. In these bags are all the required things you need to survive an apocalypse."