Always There (Stucky One Shots and Short Stories)

Regret ~ Stucky

God I am drunk. So drunk. I didn't exactly plan on bar hopping tonight, but there are lots of things in life I didn't plan for. Like a certain blond-haired little punk.

I down another shot, somehow managing not to cringe at the hard taste of the liquor in my glass. As the alcohol settles, I contemplate how exactly I got in this scenario. I'd had a fight, I guess. Not like, with my girlfriend or anything, because I don't have one right now. Haven't for months. No, I'd had a fight with my best friend. It shouldn't have been that big of a deal, but it was.

I order another shot as someone sits next to me. I order one for them too. Honestly, I'm so drunk at this point that I can barely tell their gender. Short blond hair, breasts...must be a woman. But she's so small, so slim that in the right clothing, she could easily be a man. Specifically a certain man that I'd been fighting with earlier that day. I down my shot at the same time she does. She's talking to me, but I really don't care what she's saying. All I know is that I'm drunk and angry and slightly horny, and she seems willing to take me home with her. I don't even question it as I pay and follow her out of the bar.

Before I even know what's happening, I'm laying on her bed, and she's on top of me, taking off my coat and telling me she wants me. I have barely enough coordination to unbutton her blouse and run my hands down her torso. Her breasts are so small, and I go straight to playing with her nipples, sucking at her neck as I do so. She smells sweet and fresh, but so, so wrong. I imagine the musk I'd rather be smelling instead, that heady warmth that I can practically taste on my tongue.

It had been a dumb fight, looking back on it. I told him that he should go to university, because he's so smart and talented. But it's war and he only cares about enlisting. Hell, I haven't even signed up yet, but he's all ready to go get shot in another country. So I snapped. I told him he'd never make it past the medical examination. "Just go to school and be a fucking artist, Steve!" I pretended I couldn't see tears in his eyes when I left.

I snap back to reality as her mouth slides over my cock. I don't even know where my clothes went, but God it feels so good that I don't care. I can't see her face, just that blond head bobbing up and down my manhood and it takes all my self control not to fuck into her mouth and cum too soon. Instead I switch our positions, and I'm licking at her cunt until she's wet and hot and writhing in pleasure.

When she's ready, I take her from behind, easing into it. It's my first time, after all. God I'm such an idiot. I grip her hips tighter and quicken my pace. This feels so wrong. But I'm pounding into that tight heat like my life depends on it. I shouldn't be doing this; not with her. But I'm so close. I pull out, and with a few quick jerks I'm cumming all over her back, shouting a name. But it's not hers. I don't even know her name. It's his name on my lips as I reach my blissful climax. "Steve!"

She's not impressed to say the least. I'm out on my ass, clothes all rumpled, before I can even apologize. The cold air sobers me up quickly, and I begin to walk home. But my feet carry me instead to his front door. I knock, not sure if I want him to open the door, or for him to be asleep. After a while, I just sit down next to the door, tipping my head back against the brick building. I know where the spare apartment key is, but I don't want to press my luck. So I wait.

I can see the sky turning pale when the door finally opens. I look over at him, with his mussed hair and look of concern. I tell him I'm fine when he asks, even though I lost feeling to my fingers and toes about an hour ago. Instead I pull him into a hug, burying my face in his neck. "I'm sorry, Steve," I whisper, feeling the warmth of his skin thaw my own frozen extremities.

And he forgives me like he always does, but I can't forgive myself. I feel sick and dirty and wrong, and all I want to do is curl up in his arms and sleep forever. I take a shower, scrubbing the events of last night off my skin, but I can't forget what happened. I sleep half the day away on his couch, waking in the late afternoon. And there's so much I could say to him, but I just say good-bye. And with that same sick feeling in my stomach, I go to another bar, and sit down next to another pretty blond. Yes, she'll do, I decide as I buy her a drink. I can drown my sorrows in her.