Theater Cubicles

Apparently...

Apparently I slept in my bed with my costume on that night, stage makeup streaming down my face and staining my pillow.

Apparently my director had to contact the department to ask for my costume back because I couldn't keep it and I sobbed while being difficult as I parted with it.

Apparently I thought that it was my last memory of happiness. But, then again, I was being dramatic.

Apparently the other directors, Kasi especially, told me to take a few days off from school and go home because I was developing a fever.

She knew the drill in such situations.

Apparently Edith thought that everything was so funny so she smirked loudly.

Apparently the best thing one can get is a consoling hug from their mother, no matter their age.

Life was a morose time for me in those days. Personally despising utter dependence on a relationship as a source of happiness, I made myself trudge on with my life. Its obstacles felt like an eternal uphill battle, however, with my emotional distress. The end of the year show was a break, a valley, an oasis in the middle of a desert. Yet, considering it occupied my mind, it was hard being in a show in the Academy without Nolan somewhere by my side. Thankfully Germaine and her cheeriness was there with me all along. But life isn't supposed to be sad when you're so young and full of potential, as my father told me. I had to move on and look in the direction of my brighter future.

I was glad that the occurrences led me to have a closer relationship with my parents over Video Chat. At first they were the most furious, my father and mother let down by the young man they thought was so prim and proper. Then I realized that they kept on justifying his leave to me. If I had a penny for every time they said "take advantage of opportunities."

Yet, one day, I was screaming and crying into my pillow when Germaine had probably had enough of me. I was in the room that we shared all the time. Germaine had experienced her fair share of break-ups so that what I was experiencing was nothing to her.

"Enough, Juliette! High school romances don't last forever. This isn't Twilight. It's not like he wasn't going to marry you or anything."

"Get the heck out of here! Why would you even think I was thinking that?" I threw my pillow at her.

She left rolling her eyes. The good thing about one's constant, best friend is that even though you yell at them for being the voice of reason, they are never hurt.

However, I played that phrases in my head over and over in my head. For many years, 'he wasn't going to marry you' was ringing in my head. Why had Germaine's words affected me so much? Deep down was that what I had believed?

Over the years, many directors like Tessa and Isaac came back to visit us and the Academy. Never did Nolan return. He probably wanted to spare poor me the pain.

When the others were huddling around the television to see a glimpse of Nolan's face on prime-time TV, I left the room.

Incoming freshmen shipped him with his co-actress on the show. I wanted to vomit. 

I heard whispers of other teenagers predicting the sorrow I was going through. I heard snickers of those who thought I was crazy to think Nolan even liked me in the first place. I developed paranoia. Anytime I caught people speaking in low voices, I was sure it was about me.

I would learn to forget. I came to the conclusion that I would have to forget but remember at the same time. Simultaneously. I had to be a strong, independent girl and move on with my full life ahead of me.

Apparently the first loves are the hardest to get over.

Apparently, although I wouldn't believe it then, I would get over it. Then I would realize that I never had.

A/N: You guys probably dislike me now for having you in such a place of Juliette's life with ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT. *evil author laugh*

Also I just love writing poetically like this. It's so dramatic. Let me know if you like it by leaving a comment and voting.