More Than An Alpha

Revelation

My mind had succumbed to the exhaustion that ate away at my very being but I somehow kept pushing through it. I somehow kept my head above the water even as we loaded the items I'd chosen to keep from my parent's house into a van an hour later. The thought of not being able to return to the place I was born was devastating but this was just a place, it was no longer my home without my parents here. This was a haunted house and it would keep haunting me for as long as I remained here. I convinced myself it was for the best, I wouldn't have to see the chair where my father would sit, or hear the sounds of my mother's hum as she pottered around the house. I didn't want to forget them but right now, it was too hard to remember.

Amy came by right in the nick of time, just as the last item was loaded she walked onto the little stone path, arms wrapped around her body. When she smiled and her eyes watered I had a feeling this might be the last time we spoke. I opened my arms and she fell into them, holding onto me so tightly I thought we might meld into one.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to your parents." She whispered into my ear, "I never thought things would turn out this way, I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too," I said hoarsely, past the lump that swelled in my throat.

Jeremy was quick to interrupt our goodbye, deeply clearing his throat. I shot him a glare but this time he didn't shy away. I squeezed Amy's hand one more time before I brushed past Jeremy and to the now fully loaded truck. In the driver's seat was one of Osckar's men whose name I couldn't remember. I gave him a quick smile as I walked past the waiting car in front. To the car that Osckar was driving. When I was finally strapped in Osckar took off and I didn't look back once.

---

I stared at the old book in my hands, running my finger down its spine feeling a twinge of anger and sadness all mixed into one. I didn't dare look at the letter again, too afraid of what the rest might say. Afraid of what legacy he might have left behind to a girl too broken and sad to fulfil it. I'd thought I was happy again, that I wouldn't feel this sadness but now I know that this grief I felt for my parents would never go away. No matter how many happy new memories I'd make, I'd still feel this pain. I sighed and lifted up the mattress, placing the book on the slates and carefully laying it back down again.

A part of me felt guilty for keeping such secrets away from Osckar but this was one secret I was not ready to share. It was a heavy possibility that I'd never share this secret with him for as long as I should live, just like my father did. Too tired to think of it anymore, I slid into the covers, pulling them up tight to my shoulders and shut my eyes.

--

Days blurred as I began to learn to live without the guidance of my parents. I learned to let myself breathe again and truly let myself become part of the pack, to become the Luna they all deserved, that I wanted to be. I felt like I settled in with the pack, it was a better transition than I could hope for. My friction with Bay diminished to the point of us working as a team, she'd finally allowed me to show her that I was serious. After back and forth talks with Osckar we came to a compromise of how much workload I'd take off of him, I even assigned myself to patrol the area and keeping the peace between pack members. I was a valued member, a contributor to the pack.

And I was happy. For the most part.

Osckar was perfect for me in many ways, he was always supportive and encouraging. Sure we butted heads a few times over things but we got along very well. I soon came to learn that he was a very vicious alpha when it came to it. The pack understood where the line was and knew when not to cross it, I could see the side of him that many feared but when he was with me things were different.

He wasn't as vicious with me as he was with the pack, however over the passing days he would become nervous or snap at someone for simply walking past him. I didn't like it but I tried my best to calm him down but sometimes that even made it worse.

Something was bothering him and I was going to find out what.

Mid-afternoon a day before the pack barbeque, I was helping set out the tables in the yard right outside the packhouse. The tables were set in two columns starting from the base of the back doors of the kitchen leaving a path in the middle for people to pass through easily. The barbeque was an annual event in the Silent pack, a way for everyone to reconnect and get a chance to talk to the alpha in person and voice their concerns. I thought this idea was a brilliant one, it was a sure way to include everyone and truly make them feel like a pack.

"Luna, I forgot to get the cooling boxes I promised to lend for the barbeque." Said an older woman named Marie.

"Well, how many are there?" I asked.

"I have four."

I looked at the tables, they were pretty much set already.

"Well, I could help you carry them back here."

Marie shook her head, her dark hair swishing with the movement.

"No that's ok, I can just make two rounds. I just wanted to tell you so you knew where I was."

I brushed her comment off. "Don't be silly we can just make one trip with my extra hands."

I gave her a little push in the direction of the houses, I wasn't taking no for an answer, just because I was their Luna didn't mean I couldn't lift a few boxes.

She talked to me the whole way there and I couldn't help but smile and laugh about her stories. She opened her house door and I stepped in. Her house fit her personality so well, it was a visual representation of her quirky and fun personality.

"Where are the cooling boxes?"

"Oh, they're right this way, I keep them in my son's room now." She said with a hint of sadness as she led me down a hallway.

"What happened to your son?" I asked and cringed immediately after, "Never mind it's none of my business."

"Oh that's alright, he died fighting bravely against some rogues the Alpha sent him to get rid of." She shook her head softly, and I could see the same sadness in her eyes that I saw in the mirror every single day.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

Marie didn't say anything and instead just opened the bedroom door which I took as my cue to drop the subject completely. I was immediately assaulted with a distinct scent that I would never, could never forget. It was one of the same scents I smelled the night my parents died. It was the one that I killed myself to protect my parents.

My head was swirling with all the images of that night trying to make sense of it all. This wolf that killed my mother lived here. He was part of this pack. I knew wolves wouldn't attack unless told. They wouldn't leave their territory miles away just to kill some wolf on patrol unless they wanted something.

Unless they were ordered to.

That order can only come from the alpha, and that means...

No, he couldn't have.

Osckar gave the order for my parent's death.

Osckar killed my parents.

My mate killed my parents.