Stork (SVU Fanfic)

Chapter Twelve

My entire body freezes. Why the hell did I think I could get away with crying up here? Obviously someone would realize I wasn't there. I don't work or associate with complete and utter morons.

I work and associate with the best people I could ever ask to.

But I do know who is on the other side of that door. He's using that calm, quiet, soft voice he uses when he knows I'm upset. He uses my nickname. The nickname he gave me.

I get up and walk over to the door. It doesn't lock, so I don't get why he didn't come in here immediately.

Oh wait, yes I do. Everyone except him would wait for an invitation. Because he was my partner for nine years. He knows exactly how I operate.

"Yeah?" I croak out, my voice cracking and becoming airy.

"Can I come in?" he asks.

I take two full strides back. "Yes," I say.

And enters the one and only Elliot Stabler. Why he isn't with his kids when his time is extremely limited? That confuses me. If he needed to thank me, he could have done it through Cragen. That would've been enough for me. It's the worst way, I guess, but I settle. I always settle, but never admit it. Until this moment. But I push it from my head, focusing on what I'm supposed to not be staring at.

"What?" I ask. I sound so tired, possibly even annoyed.

"What's up?" he asks. Not casually, but sincerely.

He closes the cribs's door and walks closer. I step back.

"Just...came up here to work some thoughts about a case. Too noisy in the sitting area out there by the balcony. So...I came in here."

"Bull. Shit. Liv," he announces. I startles me.

"Fine, then why am I up here, huh?"

"Because you wanted to give me time with my kids. You wanted to make sure I stayed with them for as long as possible because for some reason, you don't need a goodbye from me. Or a thank you. Or anything."

"I don't. I'm doing this because it's court ordered," I snap. Which isn't true. That is quite possibly the worst lie I've ever told.

"Oh, Liv," he says, sensing my pain.

His arms are open and I'm sobbing into them within two seconds. I don't know, truly, why I'm sobbing. Maybe I am just so tired. Maybe I haven't cried in so long I just needed to.

I feel his strength, which makes me feel weak, which makes me feel disgusted with myself and I instantly push away, wiping my eyes. He pulls me right back to him.

"I'm fine, El."

"Like hell, you are," he says into my hair.

I feel his hands running up and down my back, through my hair. Nobody makes me feel safe like this. Nobody. I feel protected, even, though he's the one who needs the protection. Which I can't promise him. That thought makes me cry more.

"What's going on, Liv?" he whispers.

"Nothing. I just...I need a break."

"You're gonna get one."

"When? We need to get Marcos and I don't even know if that's gonna happen. I promised all those kids I would get him and get you back to them but I can't even do that. He got away with your murder."

"I'm not dead. I'm not unhappy about that."

"But-"

"Liv," he says, even softer, pulling back. I never let him see me cry, so I shut purse my lips and look away. He doesn't need to see me like this.