Real - An Everlark Fanfiction

- Chapter Two -

I force myself out of my bed and head over to my dresser. If I'm going to see Peeta and his family, I might as well look presentable. Haymitch has left the room and stomped down the stairs, probably looking for some alcohol. I put on a plain shirt, pants, and my traditional hunting boots. My life may have changed since the end of the war, but my style has definitely stayed the same. For the first time in a year, I place my Mockingjay pin underneath my jacket, near my heart. In honor of Prim. I need her with me today. To protect me.

I walk into my bathroom and realize that I'm a mess. I'm surprised Haymitch barely made fun of my puffy eyes, damp cheeks, and permanent frown. I put my hair in a braid, thinking about the man I used to hate. The man that I never could have imagined me liking, let alone trusting, today. He's been through just about as much sadness as I have. Haymitch. His whole family was killed, leaving no one for him to rely on. At least, in my time of need, I have him, Annie, and so many other caring people that can relate to me. I can't imagine having no one there to give me hope.

I walk down the stairs to find Haymitch waiting in my kitchen with a disappointed face. I'm pretty sure I can guess what he was looking for.

"I don't keep alcohol in my house," I smirk, "The smell attracts rodents." If Haymitch and I didn't insult each other every now and then, something would definitely feel wrong and unnatural.

"If I'm a rodent, then you must be the Mockingjay," he stupidly bows down to me as I zip up my jacket. He obviously saw my pin, an accessory that he knows I never wear anymore. I hate being reminded of how I was the Mockingjay. How I "saved the day."

"It's in honor of Prim," I snap, walking towards the door, "I need her. And I don't expect you to bring any of this up when we see Peeta! Seeing me alone will already be enough to bring on a flashback."

Haymitch knows that Peeta doesn't like talking about the war. About Prim. He's just too sensitive. I bet he tried to block the entire incident out of his head. It wouldn't be too hard, considering the poor boy was being tortured for the majority of it. Probably spending the entire time either learning to hate me or unconscious. He was barely aware of Prim's death even after he was told multiple times. I know, today, that he won't talk about her to me. About Prim. And I don't expect him to.

"Understood," Haymitch says, nodding. And he means it. He doesn't want Peeta to go through any more pain and suffering than he already has. Happy thoughts, Katniss. Keep the boy with the bread happy. You don't want him to have another flashback while you're with him.

"He's gotten a lot better, you know," he starts, "He's been asking to see you ever since he got back from the Capitol."

I blink, looking for more of an explanation. He's been wanting to see me? I thought he hated me.

"It's been a year, Katniss. People actually heal if they understand how lucky they are to be alive. You wouldn't understand, though. You're too stubborn to care about yourself."

I try to think of a comeback, but none come to mind. He's right. I haven't been taking care of myself at all. I'm sure if I had enough energy to get up and shower, I'd be able to count my ribs. Any food that Haymitch prepares for me is immediately thrown away. I have constant headaches because of it, but they don't even come close to the pain that I feel in my heart day after day.

"I haven't been hungry," I mumble, trying to come up with a good excuse.

"You haven't been trying, Katniss. Admit it, you need Peeta to survive."

I shake my head firmly and grab my game bag. I don't need anybody, especially Peeta. I'm doing just fine on my own, and if I die because of my own ignorance, then so be it. Peeta's company can't change my fate.