Real - An Everlark Fanfiction

- Chapter Twenty Two -

The hospital doors open and a few dozen people start to file in. Some unfamiliar, others extremely well known to me. What I notice is that Peeta refuses let me out of his grasp. He wraps his arms around me tighter than ever before. I can't help thinking that we're scared of the same thing. Gale walking in among the people and ruining our wedding. Again. Hurting me. Hurting us. Again. I gaze at the guests. Shuffling about the room trying to find a comfortable place to settle. Asking Peeta questions. Asking if he's okay. His answer is the same every time.

"No. But I'll get better."

No one questions me, though. That's because my friends and family are smart.

I look around again. Some people are crying. Madge sobbing. The poor girl is just too sensitive. I feel so bad that I have to temporarily separate myself from Peeta and give her a warm embrace. And that's saying something.

I have a strong feeling that she's thinking about her father. I noticed that he wasn't in the audience when I walked down the aisle. I know the man. And I know he'd never pass up a celebration of any kind. I remember on the day Peeta proposed. At the bakery. Mayor Undersee looked so tired and pale. His eyes half closed. He couldn't have gotten better since then.

"Katniss," I hear Peeta say, bringing me back from my daydreaming. I turn my head in his direction and meet his sparkling blue eyes. I know our situation isn't the best, but I can tell that he's elated about our marriage. It's finally happening. Not in the way that we want it to, but still. We're getting married! I know that the extra few hours that he was forced to wait must have been worse than the twenty years leading up to this day.

"While everyone sits down," he begins, carefully leaning over to the plastic table next to the bed and grabbing something familiar. Something that I've seen before. "It's for you."

Peeta hands me an envelope. The same envelope that my mother was holding when I spotted her in the back row. When I was in the tent with Madge. Her unforgettable handwriting spells out the word "Katniss." The writing that used to be on my birthday cards. The writing that I would always find hidden in my school lunches. Little notes telling me to have a great day. Telling me that she loved me. Now that I think about it, she probably placed those notes in my school lunch to fill up the empty space in the bag. The empty space that should have been containing food. I hold the card close to my heart and look back up.

"When did she give this to you?" I ask.

"Earlier today," Peeta responds.

It must have been right after she left me. She must have gone to see Peeta. See if he was okay. She must have been terrified. She knew that if Peeta wasn't okay, I would turn into her. Blank and clouded. Ignorant and irresponsible. She's right. That is terrifying.

"She gave me this too. Your mother said it was on your dress," Peeta continues.

Another familiar item is in his hands. Extremely familiar. My pin. My mockingjay. I completely forgot about it. I just stare at it for a couple of moments, taking in it's significance and impact on my life.

"No," I whisper. Peeta raises an eyebrow. He's obviously confused.

"I don't... Need this. Anymore." I say, closing Peeta's hands around the pin. The mockingjay is a sign of rebellion. A sign that represents fighting and war. Fire and destruction. And those are the last things that I want to be forced to think about right now.

Peeta smiles when I shake my head no and push his hands against his chest. I bet he wanted me to reject his offer. He knows that the mockingjay doesn't only represents rebellion. It represents Katniss Everdeen. And that girl doesn't define me anymore.