Real - An Everlark Fanfiction

- Chapter Twenty -

My eyes slowly open and I see my mother hovering over me. I immediately recognize the soft white sheets that could only belong to my bed. Is it still my wedding day? It must be. But I'm not wearing my dress. And my hair is down.

I don't remember falling asleep. All I remember is Gale. Standing up among the crowd of happy people. Ruining my perfect day. Gale Hawthorne. My best friend. My best friend that ruined me. And then I get it. It was a nightmare. A complete fantasy. I was asleep. Gale coming back is just a figment of my imagination. He would never do that. He, along with the rest of Panem, knows that Peeta is the only one that can keep me calm. And happy. And loved. No other boy can bring out the good parts in me. No other boy can bring out my heart for the entire world to see. And Gale knows that. If he didn't, he wouldn't have left me. And then I feel the searing pain in my left temple.

"Katniss don't move," my mother says in her usual calm tone, gently pushing my tense body back into bed. "You don't want to hurt yourself."

I relax and asses the situation. I'm obviously injured. My head is pounding. But why? What could have possibly happened to me? What did I do to deserve this? All I want is Peeta. Not pain. I've experienced more of that in 20 years than most people have experienced in a lifetime. Physically and mentally. And it's a little bit overwhelming to wake up in my bed without Peeta beside me.

"Drink," my mother whispers. She hands me a tall glass of water. A take it from her, almost dropping it. It's so heavy. No. I'm just so weak.

"Mom. What happened?" I say after taking a sip. It hurts to talk. My normal speaking voice is quieter than a whisper, if that's possible. I have to yell to be heard, and I'm still no louder than I usually am.

"You were... In an accident, Katniss," she mumbles. She's keeping something from me. It's obvious by the way her eyes dodge mine.

"Was I dreaming? Did the wedding already happen?" I ask hoarsely. I cough, trying to clear my throat, which only sends excruciating pains through my body.

My mother says nothing, which concerns me. Her blank stare has me in such a trance that I don't even remember the ring. My wedding ring. My mother's wedding ring. I can't tell if I'm wearing it without looking. But I'm terrified to look. If I am wearing it, then Gale is back. He'll want me to leave Peeta and run away with him. Like we'd always planned. He'll want to get married. And have children together. The thought makes me shiver with complete and utter fear. If I'm not wearing it, then there are so many questions unanswered. Where's Peeta? Why are my head and voice in such horrible pain? Why am I in bed when I should be getting married? Either option wouldn't end well. My best bet is to keep my eyes anywhere else, but I can't resist looking down at my finger.

The green stone shines up at me just like it did when I first saw it. But I'm not nearly as happy as I was when it was presented to me before. Gale is back, and I can't help thinking that his return has something to do with my injured temple and missing fiancé.

"Where's Peeta?" I strain. My mother just makes a strange coughing noise and stares at me. Something must be terribly wrong. This is how she acted when my father died. Like there was nothing inside her head. No one to control her words and actions. Like there is nothing I could say or do to phase her. But I still try.

"Where's Peeta? I repeat, "Where is he?"

Nothing. I sit up, grabbing my mother's bony shoulders, and immediately feel dizzy. But I don't care.

"You can't keep doing this," I scream. Every word I manage to make out feels like a sharpened knife stabbing at my throat. But I have to get though to her. I need an answer.

"Mom!" I cry, collapsing into her chest, unable to keep myself upright. The tears start forming, and I know I won't be able to hold them back.

I haven't cried like this for a long time. The kind of crying that happens when you know someone isn't alright. Where every breath you take causes you to forcefully cough, only to keep up with the never ending tears spilling down your face. Not a quiet kind of cry. One that's loud and wants to make itself known.

I only stop when I realize that I'm letting my mother comfort me. She's rubbing my back, whispering soothing words to me that I can't make out over my constant sniffling and uneasy breath. I can't let her keep doing this. She doesn't deserve to help me. And suddenly, I'm furious. This is how she would have acted if I died in the arena. She would have avoided questions. Given back rubs in replace of answers. She wouldn't have been there for Prim, and I can't be too sure if Gale would have been there either. I made her promise not to disappear again. She promised...

I look up at her, but I'm unable to yell. I don't have enough energy. And instead of lecturing my mother on every mistake she's ever made, the only words I can choke out are, "Is he hurt?"

I'm given no answer, of course. But I don't think my mother is choosing to keep anything from me this time. Her stare is not blank. Not like it usually is. There's someone in her head. I can tell by the way her eyes are quivering. I don't think my mother is avoiding the question due to her usual reasons. I think she's silent because she doesn't know the answer. There's nothing she could say that would be accurate. She doesn't know if Peeta's okay or not. And all I can do for what seems like hours is hope.

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-Melanie 🦁