Bucky X Reader - When I see you again...

Chapter 13 - I'm Not Good Enough

Bucky's POV

As she lay there next to him her head resting in the crook of his arm while her arm was wrapped around him he felt complete. How could he have been so lucky as to have found someone like her? Gently running his fingers through her hair as she sleeps, he starts to ponder what she had said about him being a fictional character. If that was true then she knew everything about him all the bad he had ever been involved with. How could she still love him? He didn't see how it was true, but she had vowed never to lie to him. Leaning down he gently kisses her forehead before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Bucky looks around to see _____ standing a few feet away looking out over a vast field, from a balcony of what looked like a remote cabin in the woods. 'I love you,' he hears _____ say as she turns toward him a bright smile filling her beautiful face. She wore a long white gown that hung in a v from her neck and trailed behind her. Was it a wedding gown? She reaches her hand out to him and smiles when he takes it. 

'I was wondering where you were.' Wrapping her arms around him she looks up into his eyes and smiles even brighter as she says, 'There he is, there's James Barnes. I've been wondering when I'd see you again.' She cocks her neck so her lips meet his in a passionate kiss. 

'Finish the job!' he hears a familiar voice ordering him and he pulls away from her to see her once happy filled eyes full of pain.

'______?' he says as he follows her gaze down to her stomach where she had been impaled by a knife, a knife he was holding. 

'Bucky?' She says as she looks back up at him as he jumps away from her his eyes wide with fear. 'Why? I loved you.' Her eyes turn cold as she says, 'This is your fault. No matter what you do this is how I will always end up. You are a murderer and that's all you ever will be.'

'No, ____ would never say that she loves me!'

' Love? Please your just something I needed to get out of my system. A one night stand if you will, you're death incarnate you will never be happy because you don't deserve it.'

'Finish your mission soldier!' The voice says again and he feels his body move on its own as his metal arm reaches out and grabs her by the neck lifting her into the air. 'Bucky please!' he hears her cry out as the tears start to fall from her eyes her once beautiful white dress stained red by her would. 'Bucky stop!!' he hears Steve's familiar voice yell out and he turns to see his friend rushing over to them his eye filled with worry and panic. He looks back toward her to see her eyes start to gloss over.

'No!' his mind cried as he felt her pulse start to slow beneath his finger tips. 

"BUCKY WAKE UP!!" he hears Steve's voice call out again. There was something wrong this felt way too real to be a dream. He blinks a few times before he looks around to see the familiar scenery of _____'s room and his heart drops. "Bucky let go!" Steve says and Bucky looks down toward the bed to see his metal hand wrapped tightly around _____'s throat tears streaming down her face a look of pure fear in her eyes. Bucky instantly releases her and throws himself off the back and back against the wall as he panics. What had he done? "_____ just take deep breaths!" He hears Steve cry out as he holds _____ 's face up to his.

"Bucky I'm fine, it's okay!" She cries out as she covers herself with the sheet and walks over to him only to have Bucky hold a hand up and say, "Stay back, I don't wanna hurt you!"

"Bucky you could never hurt me."

"Dammit _____, just stay away from me!" He yells out stopping her dead in her tracks her eyes wide.

 "Bucky I just want to help you," She says sadness filling her voice.

"You can't help me, please just go. Steve, get her out of here!" He cries out even though the last thing he wanted was for her to go. Steve grabs her arm and starts to lead her out of the room when she stops dead in her track and turning back to him says, "Bucky I love you, please let me help you." He takes a deep breath and looking down at his metal hand says, "I don't love you, it was never going to work out between us. You should just go home." His eyes meet hers and his heart almost stops as he sees tears filling her now cold eyes. "Fine, if that's really what you want then I will. How stupid was I to think that you actually loved me." He opens his mouth to argue but instantly closes it again. "Come on _____ you know Bucky didn't mean it." Steve says as he looks back and forth between the two of you.

"No he meant it," She walks over and grabbing her clothes from the floor walks out the door not even bothering to look back at him. "Don't worry Buck I'll talk to her, are you okay?" Bucky nods as he says, "I'm fine and don't worry about it Steve; it's better if she goes back where she's from."

"Bucky you don't mean that?"

"No Steve I do mean it. If she stays here then I'll end up killing her and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her. The best thing for her is for her to go back to her world." Steve silently nods as he turns and follows ____ into the living room. Bucky slowly lets his body slide down to the floor as tears fill his eyes. He didn't really want her to leave but there was nothing he could do. This was the only way to make sure she would stay safe even if it meant he would never see her again. "I'm sorry _____. I'm so sorry."