So Little Time (Frerard) *New Version*

21: Now Come One Come All To This Tragic Affair

A week had passed since Frank's death, and it was simultaneously the longest and shortest week of Gerard's life; some days it seemed that it had only been moments ago that he had held Frank in his arms, only for it to feel as if years had passed since Gerard had last heard Frank's deep voice, last pressed his lips to Frank's slightly chapped ones.

Gerard kept expecting Frank to walk in his front door at any moment, his eyes sparkling with glee, music from some obscure punk band blasting out of the headphones he always had looped around his neck, and he would be healthy again, and everything would be perfect, but of course that would never happen, because Frank was gone, but Gerard wasn't ready to let go of his little fantasy just yet.

Mikey and Pete basically ended up living with Gerard in the days following Frank's death, and really, they were the only ones doing any actual living, because Gerard sure as hell wasn't, even though his body was still functioning, he wasn't truly alive, not even close, and he was beginning to think he never would be again, because Frank made life worth living, and now he was gone, so what was the point?

Gerard didn't cry much after the first day, it hurt too much, and it was as if his emotions had receded somewhere deep inside his body, leaving Gerard numb and slightly achy. He was unable to truly handle anything other than daily mundane tasks, and even then, Gerard spent the majority of his time sleeping, it was easier that way.

Mikey and Pete were always there though, trying to coax him out of bed, spending time with him even though he would rather be left alone, forcing him to watch his favorite movie, or brush his hair, or whatever they thought Gerard needed to be doing, and even though Gerard detested all of the attention at times, he was grateful to Mikey for trying, and especially Pete for putting up with him, even though he could have easily gone back to New York, but he didn't, although that probably had quite a bit to do with Mikey's presence more than Gerard's worrisome state, but still, Gerard was thankful to him all the same.

In a way, Gerard almost felt like they had become his parents; they cooked his meals, cleaned up after him when he couldn't be bothered, and even though it was a strange situation to be in, Gerard needed someone to help him with those things right now, so even though he felt like a burden, he didn't ask them to leave, not yet anyway.

The only downside to having them here was the uncomfortable twisting in Gerard's gut whenever he saw Pete and Mikey cuddled up on the couch together, the sharp spike of pain that shot through his chest when Pete pressed a chaste kiss to Mikey's cheek, because even though Gerard could tell the two were being careful not to get carried away in front of him, the smallest thing they did reminded him of his and Frank's relationship.

Every time it happened, Gerard's heart would physically ache, but Mikey deserved to be happy, so Gerard kept his mouth shut, turning his head away whenever it became too much for him to bear.  

Gerard tried to act like everything was okay, mostly for his brother's sake; he ate when Mikey placed food in front of him, he attempted conversation, he even resisted the urge to self-harm, and although Mikey assured him numerous times that he didn't expect Gerard to instantly get over this, Gerard feared that he would never recover from the gaping wound that Frank's death had ripped into his heart.

And Gerard knew that it would only widen today, because Frank's funeral was this afternoon, and Gerard would have to face everyone's tear stained cheeks, the pitying stares from his friends and family, but worst of all, Frank would be there, even though it wasn't really him, just a shell of the man who had once meant everything to Gerard.

Looping the tie he hadn't worn since Elena's funeral around his neck, Gerard glanced at his reflection in the dirty mirror hanging in his bathroom; his skin was pale - even more so than usual, and the bags underneath his eyes made him look sickly, although Gerard had been getting more than enough sleep, so he was slightly confused by their presence, his hair was greasy and matted, even after his attempt to run a brush though it a few times. Overall, Gerard looking miserable - broken even, which perfectly matched how he felt inside.