Facade

Chapter 10- Honesty.

"So?" Lana says as she takes a seat at a desk, leaning back in the chair. We're at school a little earlier than usual since she obviously want to talk more about Nick and I. I don't know if there is anything really to talk about though.

"So?" I repeat, pretending to not know what's going on and I set my bag on the desk. I don't really know what to say about our relationship. Our conversations were kind of awkward and short, it didn't feel like we really clicked.

I found out that he plays soccer and he was basically a straight A student. He excels in everything. He seems nice and all but just nice. That's all I saw, he was kind of one dimensional, it was boring.

This is something I never thought I would be saying about my soul mate but he unfortunately was. I mentally sigh at the reality of the situation as I play with my bag strap.

"You... Nick... what's up? Have you talked to him after that?" She asks, trying to get the story from me. She shifts around in her chair, leaning on her knees as if it's able to make her hear me better.

I stare past her, looking out the window to see classmates slowly shuffle in "Yea, to invite him to the dinner my mom's preparing, his mom is coming too." I sigh and roll my eyes a little. I'm going to have to get to know them both at once. I'll have to impress the mom or I know she'll just talk about all the things she doesn't like about me to Nick. Though honestly it isn't like I really care about Nick's opinion right now.

All I thought about these past few days was about how Nick and I weren't the ones for each other. I don't know why but for some reason it just doesn't feel right. Like fate made a mistake. It seems like a stupid thing to think since we've only talked once of twice but it was a feeling that I couldn't let go of. It just constantly nags me.

"Shouldn't you be jumping at the chance? This is what you've been waiting for years." She waves and I chuckle. I guess my whole opinion on the matter changed these past few weeks but what made it change?

"I-I don't know, maybe it's just all the excitement, the hype, I expected something... spectacular and all I got was," I blow a raspberry to emphasize. It really was a downer. I did expect some fireworks.

"I guess the closer you get to something life changing the more you think about the pros of not getting it. Well that didn't exactly happen to me but it happens." I sigh and rest my head on my hand. What was I saying?

Instead of nudging me to spill on what happened to me she focuses on something else"The pros of not meet your soul mate? and whats that?" she asks, urging me to emphasize.

"Like I said, it didn't happen with me," I laugh and let out my further worries about the future since my fate mistake thinking has completely gotten control of me "but I am worried. I mean what if we move in together and Nick and I aren't not compatible at all. What if we like totally different things, it'll be a disaster." I huff as my chest ache comes back. I mentally roll my eyes and exhale. It's something I've gotten used to, in a few days I'm going to go to the doctors to get a check up.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, he'll love you regardless and I'm sure you'll have something in common, I mean, what's the point of soul mates if you don't." Lana reassures. Love, my heart thumps extra hard for a second and I can't tell if it's painful or not anymore. Nick loving me? Would I love him in return? I clench my shirt and unclench, laying my hand on legs. It's something I'm honestly not sure about at this point. How can I love him if I'm questioning everything that brings us together, questioning him? His blandness when I don't even know him.

What makes me so sure that he's everything that I think he is and everything I think he's not.

"Okay," I say changing the subject, no more thinking on this. "your birthday's on Sunday. Are't you excited?" I haven't heard Lana say much about her birthday much less her enthusiasm. She didn't have much about it, she'd rather talk unnaturali infirmitate sometimes but now she doesn't talk about it at all. What's changed?

"I'm... yea I am." She slowly nods, sounding unconvincing.

"Mhm." I say, looking a little doubtful.

"Okay," she lets out, giving a big sigh. "It's just that I don't know if I want to meet him anymore. I was never really into it in the first place but now..."

"Oh-wow. What? Why?" I say softly.

She shifts slightly in her seat, she looks as if she's in an uncomfortable position right now. She's not comfortable enough to share right now "I- it's complicated."

"Okay." I say slowly.

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it's just that I haven't even figured it out myself yet." Lana sighs.

"Yeah but it's not like you can escape it, it's just a few days away."

Lana nods, "Yea, I'll be sure to tell you when I know, I promise." Lana says with a hopeful smile "So, what was it like meeting the guy?"

"Honestly?" I ask as she nods. "The truth? It was nothing like I expected. I was disappointed though maybe it was just me." I say as I watch Lana's facial expression grow worrisome. I guess this wasn't the best time to be truthful.

Again, sorry for the short chapter and tomorrow, Sept 2nd I may or may not post anything. I write my chapter the day before and I wasn't able to this time since it was the day before school. If I don't post tomorrow I'll either post 2 chapters Friday or Saturday. Sorry again!