Going Home

5. Dinner with the neighbors

Why do I still feel like this? Do I still like him? Is that why a sudden rush of jealousy washed over me?

'Oh come on Kat, you were seventeen. You didn't know what love was back then. He moved on and so did you when you started to date Vince.' The inner voice in my head spoke to me.

"Katherine? Is that you? It's so good to see you!" And before I can even process what was being said and by who I am wrapped up in a tight hug by Mrs. Anderson, AKA Ian's mom.

She's the most amazing women I have ever met and when I was little I always wished that my mom would be more like her. Soft, sweet, caring and most of all she was and is always trusting her kids. Never ever would she doubt or question her kids nor the choices they make.

I find myself returning the hug as I wrap my arms around her tiny frame. When she finally let's go of me I am wrapped in another, more forceful hug. This time by no one else than Mr. Anderson.

You could describe Mr. Anderson as a big, tough man seen the fact that he used to be a big shot lawyer, known for big cases. I, on the other hand, always used to think that he was one big hearted softy and at moment like this, me wrapped up in his embrace, I know I had always been right about him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, how lovely to see you here tonight." I say with a smile on my face and slightly look over Mrs. Anderson's shoulder to take in Ian's expression. But he wouldn't notice anything as he's too busy sucking face with the annoying blonde that he brought with.

I feel a slight burn in my stomach and that makes me realize I need to look away before I might throw up. So I focus my attention back to Ian's parents who are standing right in front of me. "So how have you been, sweetie? Mrs. Anderson asks me.

I give her a genuine smile, that women is just so nice that I can't help myself. "I have been great Mrs. Anderson, thank you for asking." I say. And I then realize that I'm still in the door opening and the guests are still standing outside. "Where are my manners, come in, dinner is almost served." I say as I step away from the door, giving them space to enter.

Once again I am tempted to shut the door right in Ian's face but somehow I have found the ability to control myself. And I finally realize why. Behind me stands my father with his hands resting on my shoulders. Right this moment he keeps me grounded and sane.

-

Dinner went by and we're now ready for dessert. I couldn't help but feel extremely annoyed and awkward over Ian and Jessica, that's the annoying blonde's name, touching and sucking face all the time

Lillian, who's sitting next to me, is about to stand up and serve dessert. I just give her a smile and shake my head. "It's okay Lillian, I'll do it. You've already served the entrée and the head course. Just stay seated and enjoy for a little moment." I say as I stand up myself and head of to the kitchen.

But before I made it there I heard a chair move and someone stand up. "I'll help you, Kat." And I immediately turned around.

"I'm absolutely fine. Just sit down and enjoy." I say and turn back.

But apparently he is just as stubborn now as he always had been. "I insist." He says and without looking back I storm into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator and taking out the glasses filled with chocolate mousse. "Will you please tell me what the hell I did now? You're shooting daggers at me all through dinner. So enlighten me, what have I done to piss you off now?" he asks me in a demanding kind of way.

And that's the final straw. That's where my control and sanity hit a low point. So I step closer to him and slap him across the face. "You have no right to talk to me that way!" I spat at him. And with that I take the tray with the glasses with the chocolate mousse and walk back to the dining room. I serve everyone a glass of mousse but I don't sit back down myself.

"Oh honey, are you okay? You look kind of flustered and heated up. Are you feeling alright?" Lillian asks me and stands up to feel my temperature. "No dessert for you. You're going upstairs and straight into bed. You're burning up." She says.

At the moment I can't feel anything but relieve wash over me. Relieved to be out of this room, on my own. But most of all relieved to be away from him. I say my goodbyes and apologies to Mrs. and Mr. Anderson before I go upstairs. All the while completely ignoring Ian and the annoying, clingy blonde.

-

There's a knock on my door and right after Lillian opens the door silently to see if I'm asleep. "It's okay, Lillian. I'm awake." I say as I scoot over to make place for her on the bed. "Come in" I say with a smile. She walks in and sits on my bed. She opens her mouth to say something, but she doesn't beat me to it. "I'm really sorry about dinner. I hope I didn't ruin anything."

She just gives a light chuckle, something I never expected her reaction to be like. "I think the red stained cheek of Ian has something to do with this?" she says, with still a hint of a smile lingering on her face. "You want to tell me what happened in the kitchen?"

I sigh and sit up so I can look Lillian straight in the eye. "Let's just say Ian and I have a past. He was here earlier this afternoon because he wanted to talk to me after running into him in the grocery store this morning. He left a little while before you got back. He's the reason I actually did burn my hand." I say totally dodging the question she asked me.

But Lillian isn't stupid. "Kat? What happened in the kitchen?" she asks a little more firm this time. "Look honey, I want to help you because I can see you're struggling. But I need to know what's going on in order to do that." She says.

And that's when I start telling her. I tell her about Ian and I 'dating' in high school, about my parent's divorce and about me leaving. Leaving without saying anything and never looking back. But never did I tell her why I decided to go and live with my mom and neither will she ever know.

Lillian seems to take this all in and then looks up at me. "Do you still have some sort of feelings for him?" she asks me and I didn't know how to answer.

I bite on the inside of my lip until the taste of blood fills my mouth. "It doesn't matter if I still like him or not. Apparently he has a girlfriend and I'll be going back to New York after the wedding." I say, not fully certain if I really mean it.

This doesn't go unnoticed by Lillian as she takes my hand. "You're avoiding the real question here. Do you, or do you not still have feelings for Ian?" She asks me once again, not once breaking eye contact.

And right in that moment I feel like I can't take any more of this. My stomach is churning and I'm feeling nauseous. I jump out of my bed and bolt to the bathroom. Luckily I make it to the toilet just in time before my stomach contents all come back up.

****This chapter is dedicated to peacefulawakening for being really supportive to this story and for just being a sweetheart in general*****