Going Home

18. When she's gone

Ian's POV

"You think I can ever fully move on after being pregnant and giving a baby I carried for nine months up for adoption?!" She snaps and for a minute it feels like time isn't moving. She has been pregnant? That's why she left? Millions of question run through my head as we're surrounded by absolute silence.

Was it Duke's? Is it mine? Did she give birth to a boy? A girl? What was the baby's name? Was it healthy? Why didn't she tell me?

Kat's crying and I have no idea what I can do or say to comfort her, so I decide to just stay quiet and keep driving. It sure is a dick move. I was the one who pressured her into telling me because I just knew where was more to it. And look at us now. Kat is crying her eyes out, letting out heartbreaking sobs and I just pretend like nothing happened and keep driving.

We finally arrive at a bed and breakfast in Denver and Kat dashes out of the care before I even have a chance to turn off the engine. I know I hurt her, I hurt her a lot. But there really isn't anything I can do to take back the way I reacted. I let her down, I disappointed her.

I sigh a deep sigh and then get out of the car myself. I walk into to the B&B, looking around for the owner. Finally, a woman with thin gray hair pops up at the desk. "Hello dear, my name is Erin. Is there anything I can help you with?" she asks me and she instantly reminds me of my grandmother. Her warm smile made me feel right at home and here eye showed nothing but kindness.

"Yes, I think there is one thing you can help me with. Do you happen to have a room available for tonight?" As soon as the question left my mouth I sigh. "Can you make that two?" I quickly ask her as the thought of Kat crossed my mind again. No, she's not forgotten. However, I don't think Kat and I are in a place we can share a room for the night.

The woman types somethings in her computer and, to be honest, I am surprised she knows how to use it efficiently given the fact that she must be in her late sixties. After a minute, she looks up at me with a broad smile. "You're a very lucky young man. I have only two room left. What name can I put them to?" She asks me, a smile sill apparent on her friendly face.

"You can put them on Anderson," I say trying to return a smile but the thought and questions about Kat's announcement made it impossible. Erin typed some more things into the computer and handed me two keys.

My failed attempt to smile didn't pass by her and just like my grandmother would have done, Erin reaches over and lays a hand on my cheek, looking at me with a caring expression. "Is there anything wrong my dear? Where is your companion?"

I sigh a sigh of desperation. "Can I ask you something?" I don't wait for her answer before I spill my heart out to a complete stranger. "How should a guy react when he hears he may be the father of a child he never knew existed? When only a day ago he learned that his best friend raped the girl he was truly, madly and deeply in love with, maybe hours after the guy and the girl in question did... you know, the deed."

Erin looks at me as if I were a crazy person but her expression soon changed to a pitiful look. "I'm sorry you're going through that at the moment. I can only imagine it's not a pretty situation to be in." She says as she leads me to couch on the left side of the registration counter. "Tell me more about it, the girl, tell me about her."

Even at the mention of her name I immediately smile, that smile is soon gone when the happenings of the past hour make their way back to my thoughts. "Kat... I guess you could describe her as the one who got away. I never admitted my true feelings for her, I never really got the chance to do so, since she left just after our junior year in high school. She left me without an explanation, without a goodbye. I have been mad about it for years, I was still mad about it when I ran into her in the grocery store about a week ago."

I do realize I am spilling every detail to a woman who reminds me of my grandma, one I met only ten minutes ago. I do realize that it must seem crazy to others, but to me? To me, it feels great. It feels like the weight on my shoulders is finally weighing down and it feels like I can finally breathe again.

Erin still watches me closely, so I decide to go on. "But me being me, with the feelings I tried to put away but never succeeded in doing so, I offered her my help. I am now driving the both of us from Wade Valley, California – our hometown, to New York City. I wanted to move on from the past, leaving what happened four years ago behind us but in order to leave it behind me, I needed to know what happened. So, I somehow pressured her into telling me and that's when the whole rape and pregnancy story came out."

Erin listens carefully and seems to take it all in, her hazel eyes staring at me closely. "This girl, Kat is her name? Is she here with you? Is she your companion?"

The question makes me feel like a real jerk and I can't even answer her. So, I end up nodding my head. "I've been a fool, Erin. She told me and I just didn't say anything to reply. She ran off immediately as I pulled into your small parking lot. I can't say that I blame her, I would have done the same if I were her." I tell her.

I look up to her eyes, expecting to see some disappointment but there's not a hint of it showing in her eyes. All I see when I look at her is a look of compassion as if she feels sorry for the both of us. "Go to her my dear. Talk to her." She says and I stand up to make my way to the door. "Hold on a minute," she calls over her shoulder before she disappears behind one of the doors.

I find myself waiting for her, getting more and more impatient by the second. After a minute or two Erin returns, holding something that looks like a blanket. "Here, take this with you. If she has been out there since you came in here, she must be cold. Oh, and dear? Tell her what you've told me and I'm sure you'll both be just fine," she tells me with a warm smile before she disappears again.

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I can't believe I actually wrote an entire chapter in Ian's POV. I am kind of feeling proud!

Anyways, I have no idea when I will have the next update up. I will try to have it up as soon as possible but my life is kind of a mess at the moment.

Let me know what you think and don't forget to hit that little star in the corner of your screen!

xo Anna