Going Home

12. Walk down memory lane

Ian's POV:

I look at the door Kat just ran through to get away from me. My common sense is telling me to let her be and just give her some time. But, like the idiot I can be sometimes, I follow my gut and go after her.

In the corner of my eye I see her running down the stairs and out of the building. I slow down my step and follow her quietly. Just to give her some time to calm herself down and then I will go and talk to her.

Friends have told me that I was stupid to put so much effort in getting a girl. They called me an idiot because I tried everything in my power to find her after she left. Sometimes I lost all faith and started to believe I was indeed stupid to try and pursue her. But right now, when I am chasing after her, I know I never was an idiot. I was just a teenaged boy who was in love.

I know I haven't seen her in over four years, but something about her makes it impossible to move on. I tried to go back to dating I the past few years, but none of them worked out. None of the girls could even stand a chance after you have had the chance to be with someone like Kat. She was one of a million, she was an oasis in a desert of fake.

I have secretly stalked her for about fifteen minutes when she finally sits down on a bench in something that looks like a park. Standing on the corner of the street, keeping her in my few, I give her some more time to herself. If there is one thing I have learned about her in the past, it was to give her space when she needed it.

A weird feeling made its way to my gut when I saw a group of guys checking her out from a distance. That was the moment I was done giving her space. I feel the need to protect her from whatever could happen right in this moment.

I walk over to where she was sitting and I can't help but notice she's looking down and a tear is streaming down her cheeks. She sniffles and then wipes a few tears with her hand.

When I finally reach the bench where she is sitting, I sit down beside her. Without thinking about what might happen or how she might react, I wrap my hand around her shoulder and pull her close to me. I can feel Kat tensing up by the sudden touch. "It's okay Kat. It's just me." I say and I feel her relax beside me.

"I just don't want to hurt you. And I think that by telling you, I hurt the both of us. I just can't do that. I don't want to." Kat tells me without looking at me. I can't help but notice that she is fiddling with the hem of her shirt. I seems like that is a nervous habit she hasn't get rid of in the past years.

Does she really not get it? Does she really not understand that she won't hurt me or won't scare me away that easily. I gave up the idea of being with her after she moved away from Wade Valley. But knowing know that she and I both live in the same city again I can feel hope again. Hope we can be friends again, maybe more.

Kat's POV:

"I just don't want to hurt you. And I think that by telling you, I hurt the both of us. I just can't do that. I don't want to." I tell him without looking at him and fiddling with the hem of my shirt. It was one of my nervous habits. That's right, habits. As in I have more than one.

"Kat, the only thing that is hurting now is not knowing. What hurts even more is seeing you struggle. There isn't much you could do or say that is going to hurt me, please, just tell me. Tell me and I will drop the subject for the rest of this trip, unless you want to talk about it of course." Ian says as he takes both of my hands in his.

I take in a deep breath and then let out a deep sigh. I need to find a way to calm myself down and quick. When I am finally calming down a bit I can feel my body relax against Ian's. As soon as I was calm enough, my brain takes a leap and starts to think about all possible outcomes if I tell him. Or what will happen if I don't.

Suddenly I am distracted by the feeling of a thumb rubbing circles on the top of my hand. I concentrate on the relaxing feeling of Ian's skin on mine and somehow I relax more into his side.

Minutes pass by where we sit in absolute silence, minutes wherein I am deciding about or against telling him. When I have finally made my decision I let my head on his shoulder. Right now I could use all the comfort I could get before I ruin everything by letting him in on what happened those four years ago.

I let out a deep sigh. As if Ian could feel my nerves and discomfort, he gives my hand a little squeeze of reassurance. He lets me believe that whatever bomb I'll drop on him, he'll still be there to catch me when I fall. Somehow he lets me believe things between us were still the same as they were four years ago.

"If I tell you, could you please promise me not to get angry at me?" I ask him, my voice barely louder than a whisper. Ian just nods his hands and gives my hand another squeeze for comfort, to prove he is here and isn't going anywhere.

I let out another sigh, something I feel like I have been doing for a few times already. Once I feel like I am calm and comfortable enough to tell him I open my mouth. "You remember that basketball championships victory party at Riley's back in Junior year?" I start of and look over to his face carefully.

On his face appears a knowing smile. He and I both remember how we got completely hammered that night and hooked up. We took it a lot further than just kissing and right there in that moment I was completely okay with it. Ian and I had been dating back then and I had a major crush on him.

Knowing he still has a fresh memory of that night I decide to move on with the rest of the story before I back out and run away again. "After you brought me home Alyssa called me up in trouble. I went back over there to pick her up and get her home safely."

Beside me I feel Ian shift in position and looking at me. "You drove while you have been drinking?" He asked in a accusing tone.

I shake my head no. "I took a cab, just like we did when we went home ourselves. When I got back to the party I looked all over the house too look for Alyssa. When I finally found her, I found her in a bathroom with Duke." I try to swallow the lump in my throat to be able to tell him what happened next.

A little squeeze in my hand told me he was till there and ready for me to continue the rest of my story. So that's what I am going to do. I take a deep breath and the continue him telling the happenings of that night.

"Duke was kissing Alyssa against her will. She was trying to push him away but he wouldn't budge." I feel Ian stiffen beside me and in this moment I know it was a stupid idea to tell him what happened between his best friend and his twin-sister that night.

I squeeze his hand and force him to look at him. "Don't worry about it. Nothing else happened between them. I got there in time and kicked him in the crotch before anymore could happen. Alyssa got away and went home right after." I say looking him in the eye and then look back to my hands.

Ian takes my hands and forces me to look at him. "Kat, what do you mean with nothing happened between them. You got out after too right?" I feel tears forming in my eyes and I look down at my feet again, trying to hide them from Ian. "Kat, please tell me you got out. If this is a joke, it isn't a funny one."

Tears are now streaming freely from my eyes and I shake my head. "After I kicked him he absolutely lost it," I say while sniffing. "He slapped me in the face and threw me on the bed and..." I couldn't even finish that sentence as more tears came and a heartbreaking sob came free.

Soon I felt two strong arms wrap around me and pull me into a hard chest. Ian kisses the top of my head and just lets me cry in his chest. We sit like this for a while before he whispers to me. "I am so sorry this happened to you. I am sorry that this is what you got from protecting my sister. You did my job and this is how you got paid. I am really sorry Kat." He says and pulls me closer to him if that is even possible.