Going Home

19. Confessions

This can't be happening. He walked away, again? Here I am, sitting under a blanket on a park bench, feeling empty and disappointed. Outside in the cold and with nowhere else to go. If I would have had any expectations at all, this scenario wouldn't have crossed my mind.

I get that he has a hard time to comprehend what the heck is going on. I mean, I was the one carrying the baby and still couldn't fully understand what happened the moment I went into labor. I also understand that since my return to Wade Valley, his world is turned upside down. But I don't understand what in the world was wrong with him when he didn't tell me where I am supposed to stay the night.

Sighing to myself, I stand up and make my way back to where I think I came from. Lucky for me, I came here when it was already dark, preventing me from being disorientated right now, trying to find my way back to the bed and breakfast Ian parked the car at.

Not realizing I was holding it in, I let out a deep sigh of relief when I see his car is still parked in the parking lot I ran from. The streets are now quiet and the only people around are dog owners, who walk their dogs one last time before they call it a night. The loneliness gives me an earie feeling which makes me rush over to the door to the entrance of the Bed and Breakfast that's attached to the parking lot.

Once inside, I am greeted by nothing but darkness, this is just great. I walk over to the desk only to find a key and note with my name and a room number written to it. I take the note and key before I make my way over to what seems like where the guestrooms are. Luckily for me, I find the door is unlocked and I am soon led to a staircase and a little sign that say the guestrooms are indeed upstairs.

Walking up the stairs, I repeat the happenings of earlier this evening, not noticing the figure sitting on the top of the stairs. I let out a small scream but stop immediately when I see it's only Ian. "What are you doing here?" I snap without feeling guilty. He left me alone, late at night with nothing but a blanket in a strange city. There's no way I feel any sympathy for him now.

"I had to make sure you made it here safe and sound." He says while slowly getting up and reaching out to touch me. I take a step back, immediately regretting that decision as I am still standing on the stairs. Two arms wrap around me before I have the chance to stumble down and soon I am pulled into Ian's strong chest.

We both take a few steps away from the staircase and I another one away from Ian. "You had to make sure I was okay after YOU left me there alone?! What the heck Ian?!"

Ian takes a step forward and I immediately step back again, recreating the distance. The defeated look on his face doesn't go unnoticed by me, but I decide not to act on it. He left me out there and he's going to pay for it one way or another.

"Now you know nothing happened to me, can you please just let me go to my room and let me sleep? I'm tired and I just want this day to end. So if you could step out of my way that would absolutely great." I decide not to wat for his next reply of action and push past him to enter the hall with the doors to the guestrooms.

Ian on the other hand, has some other ideas. He grabs my arms and pulls me back to him. Before I can say anything his lips are attached to mine, kissing them softly. His lips on mine feel right and familiar, that is until I realize the situation we are in.

I pull away and slap him across the face. "What the hell were you thinking? You think that you can kiss me and all is forgotten?" I give him a disappointed look before I push past him again and try to unlock the door to my room.

"I'm sorry, Kat. I truly am sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through the thing with Duke, the pregnancy, giving a beautiful daughter up for adoption. But most of all I am sorry for being an asshat, being a coward. I'm sorry for being silent in the car, for leaving you alone in the park. Basically I am sorry that I can't be the kind of guy you deserve."

Tears well up in my eyes and I don't dare to turn around and look at him. "Goodnight Ian." I say and finally the door is open.

Never noticing Ian moved closer, I'm startled by the two arms that are now wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder. "Never go to sleep angry with each other. That was the deal we made back in the days, right? I don't want you to go to bed when you're mad at me. I don't want you to be mad at me. I want to hold you when you fall asleep, I want you to use me as a human pillow. I just want you."

"Those four years without you killed me. I've dated other girls, but no one could ever compete with you. Kat, I gave you my heart four years ago and you took it with you. And it's still yours if you want it." He kisses me on the top of my head and presses his lips on my shoulder before he lets me go and steps away.

Still afraid to turn around and face him, I keep standing there till I hear a door open and close. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and finally enter the room, clueless how to act on Ian's confession.

**********************************

This is a short chapter, I know. But, IT'S A CHAPTER!

I want to thank you all for your patience. I know you had a long wait for this chapter and it's long overdue. Anyways here it is and I hope you all liked it. 

I will update the next chapter as soon as I can, but I need to put some focus on passing my first year of college. I hope you all understand.

xo Anna