Going Home

13. Night time struggle

Ian's POV:

That son of a bitch! My sister and Kat? I lost the chance of her being my girlfriend because of the fact that prick couldn't keep his hands to himself. My heart aches for Kat while my head is thinking of ways to kill Duke if I ever see him again. And then I realize something. Duke was at the wedding. Was that why Kat ran off the way she did? Has he really broken her that much? And then why has the been so distant to me?

All these unanswered questions make me wonder if there is more to the story than she has let me in on. I decide to let it go for now and to be as happy as I can by the fact she let me in on this part of the story.

I try to calm Kat down by rubbing circles on her back. I am incredibly angry at Duke even though I haven't spoken to him much since college. My mind keeps drifting off to why I let Alyssa sty at the party that night? Why didn't I make her go home with me and Kat? And then I realize that it doesn't really matter.

What matters is that this girl here in my arms, prevented my sister from the hurt she, herself, has been going through for the past four years. She did something that I can only be grateful for, for the rest of my life. This girl here in my arms is strong, has her own will. She doesn't let anyone down and that's why she was there for my sister.

I am so lost in my own circle of thought that I don't notice Kat looking at me. "What are you thinking about Ian. Because I want you to know this isn't your fault. There is nothing you could've done to prevented this." She says as the looks me in the eye.

I shake my head with a hint of s smile on my face. "You just told me all of that, and here you are worrying about me. I thought you hated me?" I say. It may sound like I am joking, but Kat and I both know that isn't the case. This is what we've always done. Always trying to make it seem like we avoid the problem and getting to know what's up by joking around.

Kat wipes the rest of her tears as she sits a little straighter. My shirt is moist from her tears but at the moment I could care less. "Ian, I never hated you. I was hurt and seeing you reminded me off that night. It reminded me of everything I went through after. You remind me of things I still can't talk to you about. But I never hated you. I could never hate you." She says and she rests her head on my shoulder.

My mind spins around and thoughts are taking over again. There is more to the story, I knew it. Right now I decide to let it go and just be glad about the fact she let me in on the story so far. I then see, from the corner of my eye, that she's shivering from the cold. I take her hand and stand up. "Come on, let's go back and enjoy the food Jamie ordered in."

Kat's POV:

That night we eat pizza on Jamie's couch and watch a movie. Right after the movie finishes Jamie announces she's off to bed and that Ian and I should discuss our sleeping situation seen the fact there's only one bed. As soon as Jamie is out of the room I open my mouth to speak up.

Ian shakes his head immediately. "Before you even think about taking the couch, just know I won't allow it. You take the bed. You need a good night of sleep after what happened today. You were in the hospital only this morning. I was stupid enough to let you drive the hours you did. Please don't fight me on this situation," he pleads.

I would be crazy if I thought I could change his mind so instead I just agree by nodding my head. I tell him goodnight and then make my way to the room Jamie showed us earlier this evening. I change into the newly bought sleeping attire and lay in the bed. It has been a long and intense day. I told Ian about what happened and I feel like a weight is lifted of my shoulder. Of course there's more to the story then I have told him, but knowing this is cleared up gives me a feeling of relief.

With all the feelings of today I feel myself growing more tired and soon I am falling into a deep slumber.

-

In the middle of the night I bolt awake. I am sitting straight in the bed as I wipe the beads of sweat of my forehead. That's weird. I haven't had this nightmare for a long while. I think of the day and what might have triggered the nightmare of that night to come back and haunt me in my sleep. I soon come to the conclusion that my little chat with Ian in the park must have been what is making me relive that night in my sleep again.

I try to go back to sleep but it seems to be impossible to find a comfortable spot or position in the bed. I am tossing and turning when I hear a soft knock on my door. The door opens and Ian's head comes in sight. His expression is sleepy and his eyes are barely open. "Kat? Is everything alright? I was making my way to the bathroom when I heard you call for help. Are you okay?" He asks, forcing his eyes open and taking me in as good as he is able to, due the darkness in the room.

I take a deep breath. "I'm alright. It was just a nightmare," I say trying to convince him and myself. Ian nods his head and is about to turn around and close the door. Before he can fully close the door I call out is name to stop him. "Can you please stay with me for the rest of the night? I really don't want to be alone right now." I ask him. I let out a sigh of relief when he walks into the room and closes the door behind him.

I scoot over to the right of the bed to make some space for him. He climbs into bed next to me and without thinking I rest my head on his chest. I really need him close in order for my consciousness to know I am not at Riley's party back in junior year. Right now Ian keeps me grounded and sane.

I listen to Ian's steady heartbeat as he plays with the ends of my hair and once again I feel myself drifting off into a deep sleep.

-

I wake up the next morning and I feel a strong arm wrapped around my torso. I carefully try to get away from Ian's strong hold without waking him up, but as usual my plan fails. As I am trying to get up, I fall down again and my elbow lands right in Ian's ribcage. Beside me I hear him groan in pain and I give him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry," I mouth to him and he just shakes his head with a small smile spread on his lips.

"Good morning to you too," he says, his voice sounding husky and tired. "Although I wouldn't peg you for the type of girl who tries to kill someone in their sleep."

I giggle loudly, feeling burden free for the first time in four years. I forgot how it used to feel to wake up without feeling like you have to worry about anything and everything.

"So you find that funny, huh?" he asks pulling me closer to his body. It took me till that moment to realize I am still laying on the bed and in Ian's arms. I giggle more as he starts to tickle my sides. I squirm in his hold, trying to get out of his grip.

We were both to distracted to notice that Jamie pops her head around the corner. "I see you guys are getting cozy." She says and she gives me a weird you-got-to-tell-me-what's-going-on look. I feel heat rise up to my cheeks and I hide my face in one of the pillows. "Anyways, you guys should get some breakfast and get back on the road."

I groan when I think about being stuck in the car again for another day. I am an active person, I don't sit around all day doing nothing. I go for a run, hang out with Madeline at the Starbucks or at Central Park. We go out to bars, sometimes to clubs. But we never just sit and do nothing.

Jaimie leaves the room again and I turn to look at Ianagain. "You think you can let go of me now? I really need to pee." And withthat he lays on his back and lets me go from his hold. I can't help but feelcold all over my body when his isn't pressed against mine anymore. I stick outmy tongue and I hear him let out a breathy chuckle before I close the bathroomdoor and take care of my full bladder now.    

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