Not So Bad

Chapter 8 - Good Grades and Acceptance

By some unknown miracle, I got C's, B's and even one A in my GCSE's. The A being in sociology because for some reason I got really into it, also I guess it helped that none of my closest friends were in my class. I sat next to some weird girl who was actually really helpful with explaining things even if her strange side fringe never seemed to work for her...anyway off topic.

So as I was saying... Oh yeah, so Mum was over the moon with my results, giving me a hug and telling me she was so proud of me, I smiled at her wide as she phoned up all my relatives and told them the news.

Well...not all my relatives as you can expect.

I still hadn't heard from the college I had enquired to, it was beginning to phase me slightly and I really wanted to get in.

What did I want to do when I finished college? I hadn't thought of that yet, even though it was obvious what my 'life calling' was as a very special brunette-haired girl who happened to be my very best friend told me in my second year of college.

We'll get to that.

Mum and I stayed up that night, having a marathon of films, she cuddled into my arm but soon released me when I reminded her she needed to take her medicine.

Mum was taking about 3 different pills, ones that helped her to sleep at night, one for the pain and anti-depressants that helped her to stop thinking, because for some reason, some bizarre reason as discussed to me by the councillor, Mum blamed everything that had happened with Lucas on herself.

That very same day. She asked me what was going through my head, I smiled at her fakely and told her everything that was going through her head, and she stared at me after 8 minutes of me talking then ran from the room, yelling that she was resigning.

Well she asked.

She never really helped anyway, absolute waste of my time.

I figured that self- therapy was the way through it all I guess.

Until I met her of course.

So Mum and I sat up and had a serious conversation about what had happened, with a lot of crying and hugging involved. She was so fragile now it scared me, she was so thin, so pale, so broken.

I don't think I've ever wanted to be in someone else's position so I could take her pain away so much before.

She loved Lucas...Dad. He was such a nice guy, something just seemed to wrong in his system and he very quickly tore our lives apart. We were now slowly sewing it up, we didn't need the sewing machine (aka carers, therapists, councillors etc.) we were simply using a needle and thread.

Mum explained to me that Dad was a very jealous man, so she had to pretend to be somewhere else even to go and see her friends. On this occasion he found out and things went downhill.

She apologised for everything he did to us, I told her it was not her fault, to which she finally nodded but started to cry again, so I cradled her in my arms.

"Matthew" she whispered.

"Yes Mum?"

"I still remember all those times you helped me, you always got me round again after I passed out. I remember everything you used to say, that it would all be over and everything would be okay. And when you stood up to him, behind all the fear and weakness that was my form I realised that maybe it would finally happen. And it did. You were so brave Son and I love you so much"

I just nodded, holding her close as she mourned for the young man that was her sweet loving husband, the man who was now wasting away on some prison on the main land.

He would never get to see Seb or Jaz grow up, they could go and visit him when they were older if they wanted. But for now he was locked up for his life and they were not allowed the option to visit him until they were 18.

I didn't want to see him. I did of course, only once as I regretted it after but was glad that he knew what he had done and that the words I said to him seemed to sink in.

I felt terrible for his parents. They still kept in contact with us. But never saw us, I think it was because they felt so ashamed. They helped us to pay rent and buy some of our furniture along with Mum's Mum who stayed with us at the beginning of the end of Dad leaving our lives.

The good news was, that a few days later. A letter came through the post, addressed to me.

Dear Mister Lloyd,

Firstly, I offer my condolences to your family as it has come to light you are going through a extremely tough time, I really hope we can help you with that and everyone here sends their best wishes.

I am pleased to say you have been accepted into Cowes College.

Your classes, as requested are:

English Literature

Social Studies

Geography

We are very pleased to have you as a part of our community and we look forward to welcoming yu to the campus.

I look forward to seeing you soon"

Kind regards

Mr J Erson

Head of Cowes College of fine arts and Education.

And now prepare yourselves again, as I take you on another little journey, on how I became a much better person, all down to one heartbroken girl and a confusing situation that took me a while to get my head around.