From The Inside Out

2

"Big Daddy, we're going out," Mitch sings, slipping passed Avi on the couch. "You wanna come?"

Avi looks up from his phone, looking through his eyelashes. "By 'we' do you mean all of us, or do you mean Scott, Kirstie, and yourself?"

Mitch raises his eyebrows. "No. Kevin's going as well... And Esther is staying here. So if you don't want to go, then you won't be alone.."

Avi nods a little, looking back down at his phone. "I think I'll stay in tonight.. And every night after that."

Mitch sighs, disappointed that his attempt to get Avi out hadn't worked. "Okay, well if you change your mind, have Esther drive you down," he says. "Bye, Big Daddy."

--

"Esther, have you talked to dad or momma," Avi asks, walking to the back lounge where his sister was. He was so close to her, but not close enough for her to find out just what was going on in his mind.

Esther was working on her computer, figuring out important details for the shows and what not. Avi wasn't a distraction, but she needed to focus, and talking to him would get her off track.

"No," she responds shortly, typing in a few things to her computer.

You even bother you're own sister. The voice in Avi's head complained. Sometimes he would talk back to them, and that would only make them beat him up more.

"Sorry," he whispers to her, walking away quietly. If he bothered his own sister, then what was the point of even being here?

Why are you here, Avi? It's just like you're thinking. You bother everyone, no one even likes you, it's all just an act. They pretend to like you because without you they wouldn't have a good foundation. But it's not like you leaving would make a difference, they could easily replace you..

"No.. No, they all love me," Avi cries quietly, curling into a ball on the couch of the front lounge. His arms cover his head and he rocks back and forth slightly. This was something he did often, alone, when nobody could see him.

He thought it would protect him from the voices that nagged at him in his mind, but he knew that it would never keep them away, yet he hoped that one day it would.

Avi didn't know the difference between the truth and the lies. So many people told him so many things, and most of them were similar. A lot of people said that they loved him, but he didn't even know if they were telling the truth. Because there were the people that told him he was gross, that he didn't belong in the group. He wasn't as important as the rest of them. He was just the guy who sang the same note over and over most of the time, the one that never had the lead because his voice wasn't good enough for it. 

And these voices never let him forget that.