Falling Skies Invasion Alone

Updating Ben

Ben loved my hair. He had done since we first met.

He always stroked my hair when we were in bed. That's what he was doing. I had my head resting on his chest, or more his shoulder.

"Every time I'm away I'm always scared that when I come back, you'll have cut your hair." He said softly. I breathed a smile, clutching my hand around his hip.

"Maybe if you piss me off I will." I whispered. I hadn't slept yet. Ben had kept me awake, not that I was complaining. And I was internally wondering whether to talk to him before or after I slept.

"At least I'll know that you're angry at me then." He curled my hair around his finger and brushed it over my ear. "What were you trying to tell me?" He asked.

I guessed I wasn't making that decision on my own. I couldn't very well ask him to wait. So, grudgingly, I sat up, pulling the sheets to my body. I reached under my pillow for my sweatshirt I wore in bed, buying some time before I had to download him on everything.

"Do you want the personal news or the affects all of us news?" I pulled at the sleeves of my sweatshirt and looked at Ben.

He leant up onto his elbows and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "I want all the news."

"Okay but what bit do you want first?" I chewed at my lip. Automatically, he extended his arm to pull my chapped, cut up lip away from my teeth.

"I'll take the 'affects us all' news first." He propped up the pillows behind him and sat up, leaning against the headboard.

"Did your dad tell you about the Volm weapon?" I asked.

"Oh shit." He sighed. "No."

So it was I who was to be the bearer of bad news. Great.

So I bore it. I told him everything; all about the Volm's plans to disable the Espheni's plan. What the risks were and how we were at risk, because it could work- which was great. But then again, it might not. And then there was also the theory that the Volm would turn on us after using us to help defeat the Espheni.

He swore when I finished speaking.

"Yeah that was pretty much our reaction too." I patted his legs through the sheets. "So far only a few of us know. Me, Maggie, Weaver, Peralta and now you. And your father. He knew before any of us and he didn't tell anyone."

"What?" he leant off of the head board.

I probably shouldn't badmouth his missing father. "I mean, he might have told Anne, I don't know, but not anyone else." I shrugged. "I don't know, hon, but that's the situation."

"And what are the thoughts on it?"

"We don't really have a choice. The weapon's almost finished and we're gonna have to deploy it. I trust them. The Volm, I mean. Maggie is going with it, but she's trusting me more than the Volm, I think. Weaver and Peralta are apprehensive to say the least." I sighed, folding my hands in my lap.

He closed his eyes and dropped his head. I watched him for a second before he spoke again. "What was the personal news?"

Oh that. I rubbed at my eyes sleepily. It was really catching up to me.

"Are you pregnant?" Ben tensed a little and stared at me, fear and nervousness behind his eyes.

With a roll of my eyes , I jabbed him with the heel of my hand in the knee. "I told you to not worry about that, loser."

He caught my hand in his and laughed at me. "So what's wrong?"

I looked down at his hand encapsulating mine, his thumb moving over my skin. "Don't get mad. Pope kissed me."

He froze. His thumb stopped moving. He stopped grinning. He stopped laughing. He just froze.

The silence went on for a few seconds. And then his grip got firmer on my hand. "What."

The 'what' wasn't a question. It was a grinding teeth statement.

I pursed my lips and looked at him, slightly sheepish, slightly weary, still 100% tired. "I don't know what got into him. He was in lock up for noising everyone up, so I had to go down and check out his heart, he said he was having chest pains. We were talking. Or rather, he was preaching. He kept saying that you weren't coming back, that we didn't make sense. And I had had enough, went to pack up to leave. He made a comment, I made a comment and then next thing I know he kissed me."

More silence.

"Did you kiss him back?"

That knocked me into silence. I didn't know what to say. Part of me felt stung- annoyed and hurt that he would think I would have. Part of me totally understood what he was asking me.

"Ben." I moved to kneel up beside him. I ran my fingers through his hair and put my fingers to his chin, tilting his face up to look directly at me. "I pushed him away. Yes, there was a few seconds when I didn't know what was going on and I kinda froze up, so technically we were kissing. But I didn't want to."

Ben took in what I was saying and came back to reality for a minute. He moved his head, pressed his lips to my fingers that were on his chin. "Did you feel anything for him?"

I paused. I could have told him that it was a basic, good kiss. I could have told him that in the moment, when Ben was gone, it felt good to be kissed by someone else, someone new. But I didn't feel anything for Pope. I didn't. I didn't want him. I wanted Ben. So why would I put Ben through that? Why would I incite jealousy or paranoia or worry in him? So shook my head and then shrugged. "Pity? That's all."

He smiled gently at that. "I love you."

"I love you too." I leant against him and hugged him tightly, my fingertips dancing over the spikes on his spine.

"He's cut, Cass. He crossed the line. I'm not dealing with him anymore." I heard him whisper into my hair. I just nodded. I knew that.

We sat like that for a few minutes, just holding each other. He was so warm, he was always warm. I think it was a spike perk thing. But it was nice, cosy.

It lulled me into an even sleepier state. I had slid down a little, dropped my arms from around his neck and just leant against his chest. I was falling asleep.

"I'm going to go." Ben smoothed my hair down.

"Where?" I mumbled without opening me eyes. "You're not planning on ditching me, are you?"

With a short laugh he whispered that he wasn't. "I'm going to grab Denny, see if she wants to go for a run."

"She missed you too, you know." I breathed deeply against his skin.

He lifted me off of him, laying me against the pillows on the bed. "I know. Sleep, Cassie."

I nodded drowsily, reaching close to the point where I wouldn't be able to wake up easily. I felt him get up off the bed so he could get dressed. A few minutes later, I felt his lips against my cheek. "I'll be back soon."