From Willow's Quill

Chapter 5. What does this mean, then?

Stunned as I am, I canna quite respond at first but it dinna take long for me to pull him closer once I regain movement. A long, chaste kiss, his lips feel wonderful against mine, and I wish this moment would be eternal. But as usual, it canna be so, and we finally part, as we both need to breathe. I look into his eyes for the briefest moment, and what I find in them is astonishing, the truth of how he feels for me comes so suddenly, making me understand how wrong I have been.

"I'm sairy" I say hugging him. I bury my face in his chest, breathing his scent in, I can feel his arms wrapping around me.

"You're forgiven" He answers softly.

I stand on my toes and kiss him, my hands at the back of his neck; his, at my waist.Our kiss grows in intensity, so much that my knees fail me and I fall backwards, only his hands keep me from getting to the floor.

"Are you alright?" He asks, I manage to nod as he helps me stand again.

"I-I should probably get dressed" I say finally, looking away from him.

"Perhaps" he agrees, without releasing me "but before that, I want you to answer a few questions."

"What questions?" I laugh.

"First" he says sitting on my bed "What did I do last night?"

"You mean, besides speaking words I dinna understand?" I add crossing my arms

"Well, I would like to know what I said as well if you don't mind, but I guess I was too drunk to make any sense."

"You were no' speaking English, that's a given."

"I'm still waiting, Willow."

"I never agreed to answering" I say as I look for a change of clothes.

"What are you afraid of?" He asks as I pick out a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. "Answer me, please"

"I told you already, nothing bad."

"You know, that can mean a lot." He insists, I can feel him standing behind me, my hands begin to shake lightly, I manage to keep them steady.

"You kissed my neck, alright?" I finally tell him, looking down at the floorboards. "See? I really was..."

I canna finish the phrase since a sensation I experienced last night is repeated, and a shiver runs down my back in response to it.

"It wasn't nothing, am I right?" He asks softly, I can feel his breath on my skin, his hands holding my shoulders lightly. I keep fighting the impulse to turn around, I'm no' sure what I would do: either slap him or kiss him. "Question number two: why did you agree on me staying?"

"I believe in helping others" I answer. 'And I had some hope...'

"Really?" He asks unbelievingly "I guess I'll come back to that one later."

"Are you done, now?"

"I've still got some questions left." He sits on my bed again, I take my desk's chair.

"What is it?" I ask. He looks at my window for a while, as if deciding what to ask me, my eyes keep locked on him, and how the dim light coming from the cloudy daylight marks his features. The spell is broken as he looks at me again, and I avert my eyes to the floor briefly.

"How do you feel about me?" He smiles, I feel myself melting at the sight of it. There are a few moments of silence between us in which I try to think about what should I answer.

"I like you" My voice comes out quietly, mixed with a sigh. I know I canna look at him, and for a second I think he dinna hear me.

"As in how?" He insists, I shrugg.

"I just like you" I add looking up finally, only to find him kneeling in front of me. His eyes staring intently into mine, and I understand that like is a very innappropiate term to explain how I feel for this man.

"Don't lie to me, Willow" He says in a low voice. I look into his eyes, those eyes that seem to look deep into my soul and kiss him, unable to keep myself under control. I know how desperate I must appear to be, but since I'm no' able to put my feelings into words, this is the best way to do so. Surely he understands my motive, as soon, we're exchanging a kiss I doona wish to break, feeling comfortable in this situation is no' exactly a problem. His arms reach behind me, pulling me closer to him, mine do the same with him.

"Get out before we do something we might both regret" I whisper once we come apart, my lips brushing his.

"I know I wouldn't regret being with you." He says as he kisses me again, pulling me back on my feet as he stands.

His lips begin to move down from mine and I gasp as I feel his tongue on my neck, my hands find their way to his chest and begin undoing his shirt, caressing his bare skin as they go. Suddenly, my knees give in as they find a piece of furniture, and I fall backwards, somehow falling on my bed and pulling him with me as we kiss again. At a given moment, my nightgown is sent flying across the room, as he kisses my breasts; soon, his pants follow suit. It's no' long before we're lying naked on my bed while exploring each other's bodies. His touch ignites a fire on my skin, the heat extending through my body in waves.

I gasp as he enters me, digging my nails lightly on his back. 'I should probably trim them later.' I think briefly as he asks me wether I'm fine, and I manage to nod. Then, he starts moving; soon, I'm moving as well, once I begin to get used to his rythm. I say something outloud, suddenly, I'm no' sure what, and he kisses me again as an answer.

Thunder rumbles outside as I feel his seed filling me. I kiss him as the storm outside begins to roar, wraping my legs around his waist, accepting him, and hoping no' to lose anything. We lie for a while, gasping for air, unhtil he finally moves aside. All of a sudden,. I catch up on what just happened and roll on my side, unable to look at him. The chaotic thoughts in my mind wonder once and again as to how will he think of me now, while my cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry" I hear him say as I'm about to grab a pillow. "I-I shouldn't have done that."

Tears sting in my eyes. 'I knew it, this was another mistake.' He hugs me from behind, the gesture is cut no' as much as the one that follows it takes place. Again, I feel a shiver running down my spine as he kisses my neck, and I curse myself for being unable to supress it.

"Seileach" he speaks my name as if tasting it for the first time. "Is it wrong to wish for you to get pregnant?"

I turn around, barely believing what he just said.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asks as a shadow of worry cloud his eyes. There must be tears in my eyes.

"What did that mean?" I ask, as a knot in my throat reveals its existence.

"W-well..." He says, looking away. "I-I might have dreamt about having children with you..."

"I thought you said you shouldn't have done this?" I answer as the knot in my throat tightens.

"Wait, I didn't mean..." he adds hurriedly, his cheeks turning pink "I meant that I couldn't control myself and finished inside you."

"That's what you're worried about?" I ask, supressing a smile and looking into his eyes. He nodds.

"Because what if... how could I help, when I'm away..."

"Hiro" I interrupt and smile at him. 'I've always wanted to be a mother' is what I want to tell him, but instead, I kiss him lightly. "Let me worry about that, ok?" I say as I kiss him again, and he holds me closer.

By the time I finally fall asleep, the storm has become rain, and I've lost count of how many times we've done it.