Over and Over

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All characters belong to JK Rowling

He was everywhere, in the classrooms, in the hallways, in his head and Harry couldn't help but look for him. It had become a habit, one that he wanted to break. Every time his eyes fell on the blonde his heart shattered and every time the piercing grey eyes looked into his, he felt like screaming.

The truth was he still loved Draco and he couldn't get over him. It was his own fault and he deserved the heartbreak. Maybe if he had just listened to Draco, heard his side of the story, he wouldn't be in this mess. Harry regretted his actions so much and he wished he could apologise and go back to how it used to be but that could never happen, not now not after what happened. He felt like he was slowly losing his mind. Like his head was an animal.

Harry wanted to get over him, he would convince himself that he was, but then he would see him again. Over and over he fell for him and over and over he tried not to.

It had been a long night and he didn't get much sleep, he was exhausted. He walked over and sat down at the Gryffindor table next to Hermione whom pursed her lips when she saw him but she didn't say anything about the redness of his eyes or the shadows under them. Harry was grateful, it wasn't something he wanted to talk about and Hermione seemed to understand that. Harry wasn't hungry and he didn't think he could hold anything down anyway, so he just pushed the food on his plate around with his fork, lost in his thoughts. He heard a crash from the other side of the room, he looked up and saw Draco stand up, knocking his seat over before storming out of the great hall, leaving a very stunned Slytherin table. Harry stood up and followed him.

"Draco" he called out, chasing after Draco.

Draco stop and turned around, his face was blank but his eyes were furious. "What do you want?" he spat.

Harry winced at his sharp words "I wanted to see if you were ok, and also to apologise" He said. Draco looked like he was about to cut in but Harry held up his hand. "I know what I did was unforgivable, I should have listened to you before freaking out but you have to understand that the people you just joined are trying to kill me. I know that you didn't have a choice and I know you did it for a reason but that doesn't change the fact that in the long run, you are trying to kill me too"

Draco shoulders slumped. "I never meant to hurt you, he was going to kill me and my family, I couldn't say no" he whispered "you don't understand what it's like, having him threaten you. It was like the whole world depended on my decision and in a way it did, my world is my family and I had to protect them."

Harry felt anger bubble at the bottom of his stomach. "I don't know what it's like?" his voice was shaking. "I know exactly what it's like! So don't you dare say I don't understand Draco Malfoy"

Draco pulled his sleeve up to reveal the dark mark slithering under his skin "you have no idea how this feels, to have this disgusting mark underneath your skin, being tied to him. I'm sorry Harry, I'm sorry I did this to you. I don't think you see how much you mean to me and I'm so afraid of losing you. Maybe I would have been better off dead, maybe I should have ended my life. I'm sick of fighting to stay alive."

Harry took a step forward " in case you've forgotten, I'm connected to him too" he said pointing to his scar. "But I keep going on and I keep fighting but Even if I say it will be alright, you still say you want to end your life. Why can't we just stay alive?" he asked placing his hand on Draco's shoulder. "Maybe we can turn this around, it's not too late." He said

Draco sunk down to that floor sobbing "I'm like a chalk outline, waiting on the sidewalk for the rain to wash away" Harry sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug, Draco grabbed hold of him like he was his lifeline, the only thing keeping him grounded.

"I'm feeling so faithless and lost under the surface. I don't know what you're expecting of me and now I'm put under the pressure and I can't do it. I'm broken glass, an empty shell." Draco sobbed

"I'm so sorry Draco, I should have been there for you. I should have held you close and never let you go. I love you so much and I want you back." Harry said

Draco looked up at him with big eyes. "Really? Even if I told you I am hurt, bleeding from the inside? Or that I don't know where I belong or that you are probably the biggest mistake of my life?" he asked. He had to be sure that Harry wasn't going to leave him.

"I don't know where I belong either, but I still keep going on. I will do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without. I will always love you and I will never let you go, you can call me strong, you can call me weak but I won't leave you ever again. " Harry said, tears running down his face. "But if I go crazy will you still call me superman? Will you still love me if I stuff things up because believe me I will, are you mine?" Harry asked. He had to know the answers because he was short tempered and doesn't think before he acts, he has flaws as well and Draco needs to accept that.

"Of course" Draco said

"Good. Draco Malfoy, I love you and I want to know if you will be mine again" Harry took Draco's hands in his.

"I will wait here for you, ever long" Draco said and harry pulled him in and kissed him softly on the lips. He was never going to let him go.

Ok so I know that this story is sucky but I was given a challenge  to use as many song names and lyrics as possible and I had no ideas for a oneshot so yeah,  it was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Points for anyone who can find and name all the songs and lyrics. Please comment the ones you do find, I want to see who can do it, some of the lyrics have been altered to fit with the story. Good luck!

keep reading

XOXO Taynado


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