chap 8) before Arizona Tea

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Delilah had decided that arpartment 206 with the red door was now her favorite place to be.

Near Luke, near his half and half Arizona tea, near his Bon Jovi on vinyl, near his never ending maps of places around the world that he was absolutely dying to go to.

She had decided her favorite place was by his side.

"Life is sucky." She told him, sitting on the large black fluffy carpet, Ingufled by his scent.

"Everything is sucky." He replied.

Luke was 18 in a month, and no matter how many times Delilah asked him what he was going to do with his future, he didn't have an answer.

"Okay. Now, how do you feel about William Shakespeare?"

"Love is sucky."

She laughed, "Everything is sucky."

"No," he began, standing up, and right then and there, Delilah braced herself for a speech, because she knew that was exactly what she was gonna receive.

"No," He repeated.
"Love is sucky, love is unreal, because it never ends up good, you know? We all suffer, and it's not worth it in the end. Love is stupid. Love is pointless."

Delilah nodded her head slowly, stopping to think thoroughly about his words.

and before, she thought that maybe, just maybe, he could love her, she could love him and they could be in love, but Delilah always thought silly things like that, and after all, love was unreal.

"Alright," she told him, "alright."

And so they got up, and Delilah snuggled up to an old ratty sweater, and they sat in his old truck, and talked and drove and talked and drove, before they ended up where they always ended up, in a field, with endless grass and endless flowers and endless possibilities, in a field.

"Can we play some music?"

"Alright, yeah, pick a CD." he responded, laying in the trunk of his car, where he kept blankets and more books because he didn't have enough.

Delilah hopped out of the trunk and into the drivers seat, and the first CD she chose was the one she was always thinking about, Chasing Juliet.

She popped it into the CD player and waited for the first note to start, before running quickly back to the trunk and laying beside Luke, who shut his eyes as soon as he heard the song.

"I know this." He told her softly, but he knew that she knew he knew this, so he forgot why he said that.

"I know." She told him, but she didn't know, she didn't know anything.

And so Delilah waited, she waited for the songs to play, she waited for him to open his eyes, but he never did, because maybe he was remembering the girl, and maybe he was remembering their love, and maybe she should've been mad, but she wasn't, because he had a chance to be happy and that was what she's always wanted.

It was like Luke read her mind, and so he answered her, he answered the question she's had for so long, "Her name was Rose." he told her, his voice was so, so quiet, it came out as a whisper.

Delilah suck in a breath.

"I thought that I was in love with her, I thought that she was everything I needed and everything I wanted, but she wasn't, I was in love with the thought of her. Because I had to lean on someone, I needed to lean on someone, Delilah. I needed reassurance, I needed the smallest bit of hope, but she wasn't anything, she was just a girl who liked parties and drinking and breaking hearts, she was just a girl."

Delilah could hardly hear him, because a small tear ran down her pink cheeks and she was closing her eyes and gasping for air and trying to breath,

and the song kept going,

for you I'd bleed myself dry,
for you I'd bleed myself dry.

and they were silent and the song kept going.

it's true, look how they shine for you.
look how they shine for you, look how they shine.
look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything that you do.

Delilah was half asleep, with only one thought on her mind, how Luke was so precious and beautiful and amazing and all he got was heartbreak and she realized that she couldn't mend him or put him back together, but he could mend her and put her back together, because right now, she was the one who needed the smallest bit of hope.


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