On Finding Chance

Part 2 - Chapter 15

The next day, I woke up to a terrible headache. I try to sleep again but I have been in bed for more than 10 hours so I forced myself to get up. There is nothing productive for me to do at home. My laptop and phone are in the hospital. I can bake but I am not in the mood for making sweets. Maybe I should ask dad to bring back my things. No No. I am still upset at them for keeping the truth. As I am busy contemplating on something to do, my phone rings. It's Gab. She is definitely part of that stupid conspiracy. I did not answer her call. They should leave me alone.

I turn on the radio instead. Music is always an effective therapy for me. Oh! The fudge! Of all the songs around the globe, does it really have to be Harvey's that they are playing now? Seriously universe, are you kidding me??? I am about to change the station when a recent chat with dad enters my mind.

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My dad always listens to the radio when on the road. There were times when he would bring Harvey and I to school and we listened to his favorite morning show. Aside from this, he also loves "Night Sessions with Chino" which we are currently tuned in to. Once, he mentioned that listening to these crazy jocks makes him feel relaxed.

Because we are stuck in terrible traffic, I pester him to join today's topic - #SignsOfTrueLove

"True love is when both your heart and mind agree every day that she is the one," says my dad.

"Is that how you knew that what you have with mom is true love?"

"Shhh! Don't tell your mommy. It's our little secret."

I have heard of their love story countless times but never from my dad's perspective. Although he does tell us bits of it on certain occasions, I am intrigued on how my father will share their tale. I urge him to speak but he does not budge, saying it is too cheesy for him. As a substitute, he gives me some love advice. "Baby girl," he starts.

"Sometimes the right one for you is just too afraid to show you how he truly feels. Men are not as strong as society thinks. And sometimes, this fear creates mistakes that can hurt you. When that happens, listen to your mind but trust your heart. At one point, both of them will agree and you'll learn how to forgive and love again."

"Ok? Deep. Hahaha!"

"Haha! It sounds cheesy but I'm serious. Keep this in mind. Never shut your heart for love. Allow it to heal when it's broken but do not build walls around it."

"Got it dad" I say.

After that conversation, we stayed quiet for a while and continued listening to the show.

It is amazing how people have different signs of true love. Some say it is when there are no questions in your mind. Others say when you break up and still end up being together in the end. A few mention that it is when that person can bring out the worst and best in you. Several others go for the slow motion- you are only the two people in the world-thingy. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, hearing these comments makes me think of Mr. Right. My insecurities are starting to sneak in. Am I not deserving of true love? Am I not pretty enough? Good enough?

My dad seems to notice my inattention and snaps me back to the car. He is asking if I can call the station because he wants to request a song. I tell him I can tweet his request but he insists on talking to them rather than tweeting. Guess where I got my stubbornness from?

I dial the station's number for the nth time and still cannot get through. I am getting frustrated so I disobey my dad and post a tweet. He asks me to call again even though I already told him I tweeted the request dozens of times.

A little while later, we hear his request on the radio. Why on earth does my father want to hear my brother's song? Of course, I ask him out of curiosity. "Because it is our family's favorite song. You can feel the intense pain and love. In my opinion, this is Harvey's masterpiece" says dad.

That is a surprise. I did not know my family had a favorite song. I love "Never Ending" but no one told me they like it, too. I feel a sting of betrayal. I bury this childish emotion and listen.

The girl who loves books

Once charmed by my looks

Is now in a place I cannot pass through

My world darkened by night

My thoughts consumed by guilt

My soul enslaved with fear

My heart in million pieces

Never ending pain yeah, never ending pain

The girl who makes me smile

It's time to say goodbye

Forgive me please, for telling a lie

Never ending pain is what I deserve

Never ending love is what I have for you