Piano Days and Other Malec One-Shots

Broken Plates

It was a simple business trip.

Magnus was safe.

Magnus was fine.

But Magnus was gone.

The apartment was empty. Alec didn't have patrols to do. Clary and Jace were busy with this and that and weddings and traveling. Izzy and Simon were drooling over one another.

Alec was alone.

The first night was fine.

The second night was boring.

The third night gave him time to think, which was the night's first mistake.

Thinking gave one time to go insane.

And that's precisely what Alexander Lightwood did.

The loneliness was something new to Alec. His siblings were always around. Being alone had always been a choice, never this forced upon state of being.

His thoughts were all on Magnus, his beautiful Magnus, and then--

It smacked Alec across the face: This would be Magnus, after him.

This wallowing, this self-pity, this boredom, this insanity.

It made him want to scream. So he did.

That was the initial thought.

Knowing that someone you loved would be in pain, it was a hard thought but it was nothing compared to the ensuing guilt.

This was all Alec's fault. It was all on him. He was the one Magnus loved. He was the one who couldn't stay away. He brought himself back into Magnus' life.

Then he was pacing around the apartment, guilt and panic consuming him.

He needed Magnus back. He needed Magnus to lie to him and tell him everything would be alright when it wouldn't.

The future was coming with a vengeance.

Why did happiness have to come at a price?

Alec knew he was speaking, whispering words in incoherent sentences and too quiet to be heard by even himself.

The anger and hate with himself rose and rose until he lashed out, pushing a vase onto the floor.

The fake crystal shattered, the water pooling around the shards. The flowers fell with it, shaking and crashing to the floor.

Alec stared at the mess.

It was time to get help. It was time to call someone-- anyone. Magnus would come home in an instant and there was always Lily or Maia and Bat if he didn't want to bring the people he loved the most into it.

That was the irony.

He needed help but he didn't want to hurt Jace or Magnus with his depression.

It was such horrible dramatic irony.

So he continued hurting, pacing, screaming whenever he needed to.

It was nearly midnight, the chiming clock on the wall reminding him of the late hour.

It was antagonizing.

One chime.

Two chime.

Three chime.

Four chime. Alec looked at the clock from where he had settled down on the couch finally.

Five chime.

Six chime.

Seven chime--

He pulled the lamp on the table next to him out of the wall, smashing it on the ground.