Absolute Zero (A Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfiction) [4]

Chapter 15 - Fight

"We should have told her," I said to Stiles. We were standing in my bedroom. It feels like forever since he's been in here. "I knew we should have told her,"

"She'll come around," he said.

"And what if she doesn't?" I argued. "We've all been lying to her! At least when I found out Peter was my father the only person who knew was Lydia. She feels betrayed,"

Now matter how much Malia and I's pasts may be alike, that does not mean we are the same people. We have different personalities, we react to things in various ways. I don't think getting her to come around is going to be as easy as it was with me, not that I'm entirely over it myself.

"I think we've all felt a little betrayed lately," he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "I mean when you think you're going to be with a person forever and then they dump you because of things out of your control - "

"You're kidding, right?" I snapped, breaking him off. "You feel betrayed? You?"

"Yeah, Emma," he said, taking a step closer to me. "I do. You never even talked to me about it and then you just dropped it on me like a bomb,"

"Stop blaming me!" I half-yelled, my temper close to being set off. "You think I don't already feel guilty enough as it is? My darkness is what helped the Nogitsune get so strong in the first place, what helped it become strong enough to do what it did. I don't need to be guilty about how it made me feel."

Stiles shook his head. I knew this conversation was coming, it's been long overdue. We had to talk about it sometime, and I mean really talk about it. We can't just keep ignoring the elephant in the room, not anymore.

"Twenty minutes, Stiles. Twenty minutes is the only reason that I'm standing here instead of Allison. Twenty freaking minutes. That's it. " I said, looking him dead in the eye, even though he was avoiding doing the same. "Do you know how often I wonder that maybe if I hadn't sat in your room for so long waiting for you to show up or at least call that I would have made it in time? And I know it's my fault because I told you I was leaving but I can't help but think that maybe if we didn't leave things so shitty between us I wouldn't have need to wait. I would have just done it or maybe you could have convinced me to stay. But no, instead I missed saving Allison by twenty minutes. That thought has destroyed me."

There was a stale silence between us as he mulled over what I had just confessed to him. He finally looked up at me, his eyes dark, but not dark enough to make me afraid. He sucked in a deep breath before finally replying.

"I never wanted to lose you, Em," he said.

I scoffed and shook my head. "I still could have left, but I didn't. I stayed for you. I stayed for Scott and Lydia, Derek and Kira. I am here and I am trying,"

"Well," he started, pursing his lips. "You're not doing a very good job,"

An anger like no other rushed over me. How dare he say that. He doesn't know what's been going on in my head, about the struggles I've had with myself. He has no idea what I've been going through, and he has no right to say that I'm not trying.

"I don't know what else you want me to say. That I'm sorry? That I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't the person you needed me to be?" I questioned. "What the hell did you expect from me? That I could just move on and pretend nothing ever happened? No. No, I'm done suffering for the sake of others. I can't -- I won't do it anymore,"

"I never asked you to,"

"The hell you didn't," I spat.

I turned and walked towards the wall, not even wanting to look at him. I stared at my reflection in the mirror on my vanity. I've changed so much since all of this began. My hair is a few inches shorter, my eyes are a darker shade of blue. My soul is tattered and damaged. I turned back around to face him.