Let Me Go [Sequel to Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed]

Chapter 4

*A/N*

Thank you for all the feed back so far. It means a lot to me! :)

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*1 month later*

*Perrie's POV*

"The day has arrived baby." I tell my daughter.

"Finally" She grinned. 

"Now Emily, we have been waiting for this. You can't mess this up."

"I won't mom. Now that I know she likes her best mate Zach as more than a friend.. I now know exactly  what to do."

I smiled and Emily had it all planned out. She was ready.

*Zach's POV*

I got to school and waited by Autumn's locker. I have noticed she hasn't been herself the past month. Like, she's hiding something maybe. I don't know. All I know is that I really like her, and that I'm head over heals in love with her.

Then all of a sudden I see her friend Emily come up to me from my left and quickly presses her lips against mine.

It takes me a second to realize what's happening. I push her away and see her look behind me with a grin on her face, while still standing in front of me. I turn around and see Autumn just a few feet away with a horrified look on her face. Looking like she's about to cry. She turns around in the other direction fast and runs down the hall

"Autumn!!! WAIT!!" I yell for her. But she just keeps running. I try to run after her but there were too many other students in my way. I made me way through the crowd and went back to were I just was to ask Emily why the fuck she did that. But when I got back there. She was gone.

*Autumn's POV*

I was walking to my locker, looking forward to a good day. I see the back of Zach's head, waiting by my locker. Aww, I thought. Until then I see Emily go up to him and kiss him. It look him a second to push back. But why wouldn't he push back immediately?

And how could Emily do this to me? I thought she was my friend! I just don't understand.

I felt myself start to tear up and I turned around and ran as fast as I could through the crowed halls. I could hear Zach calling my name through the noise from other students. I didn't turn back though. I ran right into a girl's bathroom. I texted Rachel asking to meet me outside. She texted back and I left the bathroom and went outside.

Rachel seen my teary eyed faced and asked what was wrong. I asked if we could go to her house and ditch the rest of the day. I'd explain it all there. She said okay and we drove to her house in her car.

I had been hanging out with Rachel a lot more in the past month. It turns out she's anorexic and bulimic. But mostly anorexic. Emily may have taught me how to purge. But Rachel was special. Because she understood me.

She had been this way for about 2 years. She was really skinny. She looked a lot more sicker then when I first met her about 1-2 months ago. That's why that day at lunch she got food but didn't eat anything and then left early.

She helped me how to hide it and keep it a secret. The tricks and all the stuff. She wasn't a bad person though. Just another person trying to survive in this world. And to be somebody in this world, you have to be perfect. Which was what me and Rachel wanted most.

Even though I was so jealous of her body. I always wish I was that thin. Hopefully one day, I will be.

We went to her room and sat on her bed. Her parents were both at work. "Okay babe, tell me what happened." She said rubbing my back.

I told her everything that I saw and that happened. I started to cry again. She pulled me into a hug. "Shh. Shh. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm here." She said soothingly.

I felt my phone vibrate and noticed I got some texts. But I didn't check them. I was too upset at the moment.

*Rachel's POV*

Autumn did not deserve that. I knew Emily was trouble as soon as I layed eyes on her. It was just not right. I knew she liked Zach too. Oh poor Autumn. But then I had an idea.

"Hey, how about we go shopping. Might cheer ya up a bit, yeah?" I suggested to her.

"I'd like that." She smiled.

"Great. Let me get my purse and we'll go."

We went to the mall and looked around for clothes. There were tons of different kinds of styles and what not. The shoes were to die for. We picked out some stuff and went to go try them on together in the big stall. She was size 2 and I was a 0.

We tried them on and we liked our choices, but just not how we looked. It's like we were ashmed to even have it on our body because we didn't feel good enough to even wear them. No matter how much weight I lost, I still never felt good enough. Autumn told me she began to feel that way as well.

We bought a couple of outfits and we left and went back to my place. It was about 11 am. We went into the exercise room we had put in just last summer. My parents idea.

But hey, I didn't complain. In fact, I really incourged it. But I act like I didn't care. I couldn't have them suspect anything, could I? They are already as gullible as it is. It makes this much easier to hide.

We started working out and drinking lots of water, like we usually do. I always would work out as much as I could in the exercise room before my parents got home.

We hanged out for the rest of the day just before my parents got home during supper time. I drove her home. She never judged me or anything. She was there for me like I was there for her. She was the best friend I've always wanted.

"Remember, you're in control." I reminded her before she got out of the car. She nodded and smiled. We hugged right before she left and went inside her house. I then drove back home before my parents did.

*Autumn's POV*

As soon as I collapsed on my bed, as I pretty much do everynight. I was still tired from everything that happened today. Zach, Emily, Rachel, Crying, Shopping, Exercising. It was a lot more then what usually happened.

I no longer trusted Emily. I could never forgive her or hear what she has to say. There should be no excuse for what she did.

I didn't even want to check my phone. And my parents should be home any minute. I didn't feel like eating dinner and then coming up here and secretly throwing it up. So I hope to just fall asleep before they get here. So hopefully they won't wake me. And if they do, I will just say I'm to tired. And I'll eat when I wake up. Even though it's a lie.

I'm surprised my mom hadn't noticed. I mean, she did tell me she had a slight eating problem. But it was a phase. Even though I find that hard to believe. She probably had a serious eating problem. She's not fooling anyone. Like I am. Because I'm sneaky and smart when it comes to stuff like this. I've learned well from Rachel.

I never understood why girls did this to themselves. But now I do know why. It feels good. I've never felt more in control. I've never felt more powerful, yet more weak everyday. But at least I'm losing. That reminds me. I hop out of bed and go to my bathroom and take my clothes off. I step on the scale.

I wait for it to calculate. Then finally, the number pops up.

105.3

Before I even started doing this to myself, I had weighed at least 120. So in about a month and a half or so, I've lost about 15 pounds.

I felt satisfied. But not satisfied enough to quit. I was just getting started. I wanted to go as low as possible.

I want to be perfect.

Maybe then, Zach will like me.

More than just a friend.

I put a sweat shirt and sweat pants on and went to my bed. I curled up and threw the blankets over my head. I fell asleep instaintly.

Hoping to wake up and finally be good enough.