Let Me Go [Sequel to Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed]

Chapter 31

*A/N*

I'm so sorry I haven't had a chance to update! I will be able to more when school starts, I know, that's weird. xD

And for the past week. 8/16 - 8/23 I was in a physiatric unit (ages 13-18) in the hospital. It was because I was 'suicidal' apparently and brought there. But I'm better now I guess. I'm on an anti depressant now. So I'll just have to see how it goes from here.. I did meet some awesome people in there though. 2 of them were 13 year old boys and one of them actually looked like fetus Harry Styles. I had a crush on him of course. And I also met a 18 year old girl. She was my roommate. But other than that, it was an interesting experience.

Enjoy the chapter lovelies! x

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*Autumn's POV*

Another week has gone by. A week of sneaking around with Tyler.

I feel so fucking guilty. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to get better. For myself most importantly.

"I'm sorry Tyler I just can't do this anymore. My recovery, Zach, and my family mean too much to me."

Tyler sighed with sadness. "It's okay," He breathed. "I understand I guess. I don't want to stand in the way between you and happiness. Goodbye."

"Bye Tyler." I said, and he walked away. For the rest of my days here I will not talk to him. As a matter of fact, I won't talk to him ever again. He was my friend, but what happened between us was a mistake.

A mistake I can't make again. 

And I never will.

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Zach and my mum and dad visited me a couple of times while I was in here. I was so happy to see them. Especially Zach.

I am in my room laying face up on my bed. Looking up at the ceiling.

Thinking..

All the mistakes I've made here, and in my entire life.

All the people I've hurt. What did they ever do to deserve that?

Nothing.

That's what.

Absolutely nothing.

How could I do this to them? And myself?

What was going through my head at the time?

Well, whatever it was, I have to let it go now. I have to focus on getting better. I have to. I need to.

And most importantly, I want to.

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I tried to stop thinking bad thoughts, and think of positive ones. But it was so difficult to do so.

All I could think was,

How could I?

What is wrong with me?

All I do is hurt people

I'm pathetic.

I have wasted my teenage life with this horrible horrible mistake. Why did it have to turn out this way? I don't understand it.

I don't understand anything.

Thoughts of suicide race through my mind. How could I let this happen? Let it go this far..?