Let Me Go [Sequel to Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed]

Chapter 42

*A/N*

**TRIGGERS AND MILD SMUT**

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*Autumn's POV*

We had to go back right away because we were still in school.

So we weren't able to get legally married in america.

But it didnt matter, we were gonna get married anyway.

We haven't set a date yet but we are probably gonna wait until after I graduate. Or wait until Zach's eighteen. But it depends how everything goes from here on out.

"That ring just looks so beautiful on you. I'm totes jealous. But I am so happy for you." Emily said.

"Thanks," I blush. "And you'll get ours someday, don't worry."

"I hope that day comes soon!"

"Me too." I say.

The three of us didn't speak of the events that occured in California, besides the proposal of course.

"So what kind of wedding do you want to have?" Emily asked.

"Hmm,' I think. "I'm thinking I want an outdoor spring wedding. Or maybe summer. I'm not sure yet, I want it to be one of those meduim sized cute ones. Not too many people, and just the simple cute things. Like flowers and what not."

"That sounds perfect!" Emily squeeled. "And for the dress?"

"I've always wanted a white strapless and then have it poof out with lace at the hip line. I've always loved those kinds."

"Oh my god, that would look so good on you girl!"

"Thanks Em!" I smiled like a little girl.

I think everything is going to turn out okay for once..

----

I haven't cut in awhile, and I've been doing so good.

But the urges never go away. It's like I'm being possessed by something.

Addiction.

The bullying won't stop and Zach's class this hour is on the other side of the school.

I wipe a tear that had fallen from my cheek and run away from two of the bullies that had just harassed me again today.

There's no getting away from it.

It follows me. It never stops.

And even though its my last year,

I don't know how much more I can take before I officially break.

I make it to the bathroom and close the stall fast. I take apart a brand new unused pencil sharpener and remove the blade from it.

I have it between my finger tips and sigh.

I don't want to do this. I want to get better.

But I just can't stop.

Especially when I know it does work.

I pull down my sweatpants and place the blade on my thigh.

I press down, braking skin on contact.

Blood soon starts to appear by forming little balls along the cut.

Some blood starts to trickle down my thigh. I clean it up with some toliet paper and make another 4 cuts.

I clean them up and wait for them to stop bleeding.